Ha Ha I Joke I Joke

So, much like just about any ride at the Disney Theme Parks, I waited and waited in line after line, in spot after spot. They got us pumped up, we screamed, we sang. We smiled for the camera. All 10,000 of us. There we were, just a bunch of hopefuls, sucked in to the magic that is TV, screaming every time someone asked us..

"Someone in this room, could be the next American Idol."

Well except me. I'm not.

After all that waiting - my 15 second chance at stardom ended with "Thank you, but no thank you."

Ah, the magic of TV. The magic of ratings. Did I jinx myself too much by trying not to be attached to the idea of making it? Did I not care enough? I just didn't want to get my hopes up. I knew it was slim chances of being lucky enough to make it to the next round - I knew that. Maybe that was it. Maybe I should have been more attached to the idea of making it. But its the producers and the magic of TV that feel otherwise.

You see, the process is a lot different from what you see on TV. People perceive that it starts with this long line of hopefuls, and in two days, it weeds its way down to the "Hollywood" winners.

Quite possibly, yes, actually, but not the way you think.

Paula, Simon, and Randy come two weeks later, after the cattle call auditions. The cattle call, is what America does not see. Adrian and I were keeping tally. We were able to start picking out the golden ticket winners before they even opened their mouth. You see, remember American Idol is a business, not a talent competition. If it was a talent competition, ONLY the talented would make it past round one, they would etch down from there. That's not how it worked. Hundreds of actually talented individuals got sent home, no golden ticket. I'd like to think I'd be decent enough to make it at least to round two, but no golden ticket. But yet, tons of un-talented singers were getting through, with thoughts in their heads that they are better than the rest. Just because they wore a banana suit or a bikini. Or because they were awesomely terrible. They got sent through.

Then others, some that were talented, had the "look" going on, you know... the "Look." I don't know what that look is, but they had it, and I didn't. They made it to the next round.

Fox producers told us that they don't know what they are looking for, but they know they are not looking for a David Cook, or a Kelly Clarkson, or a Taylor Hicks. They already found them. Makes sense, they want something fresh and unique. Ok, but they "Don't know what they are looking for." So when they tell me that "I'm not what they are looking for..." It tends to be quite the contradiction. Basically they are saying, we don't know what we are looking for but we know you're not it.

Cool, fine. I get it.

Here's where it gets fun though. The people that are awesomely bad that got sent through? They are given the same treatment as the people that are just awesome. So the people that are not good tend to think, and believe, they are good. I would too, honestly I don't know I'm good or not. I think I'm good, people tell me I'm good. And if some official-looking Fox producer told me I'm good I would believe them, and believe it as fact. So when they get in front of Randy, Simon and Paula - and they are "Honest..." there's the magic of TV. Their hopes and dreams are crushed. They get in the confessional and cuss them out, curse them for being so stupid...

You see - most artists will agree with me when I say that we are our worst critics. We hate ourselves and the way we sound. We are constantly trying to better ourselves. When we do something good, or have a good strong performance, we naturally feel good about it, and we know it. When we have a bad performance, we naturally feel bad about it, and we know it. If a producer told me I was good I would thank them, but in my mind I'd be thinking of ways I could do better. That's an artist at work. If Paula, Simon and Randy told me I was good or not good, I would listen to their advice and take it to heart.

Some of these audtitioners... actually I should say most, are not true artists. They're told they don't have to be. They're told that it doesn't matter about talent, just about your look, and how you act and are perceived.

But wait - what happened to this being a "Talent Competition?"

It's not, folks. It's a multi-million dollar business that is focused right on the first 20 hours of show, the "cattle call auditions."

Now, it does BECOME a talent competition... sort of. Those talented singers that they picked day one, go through a grueling screening process come round two. So do the non-talented ones... but they won't be on for long... so stay with me. So let's say about 300 people made it through to round two, executive producers. Out of those 300 let's estimate that about 80 of them are Hollywood potential... wait... only 80? Yep. Not even, if I were to guess. As I said, Adrian and I were keeping tallies. We were able to spot those that went and those that won't. None of them were talented. None.

So out of those 80 or so talented, I'd say about 15-30ish make it to see the "big 3." It's funny that somewhere between 10-25 actually make it to Hollywood week - a connection? Yes. Round two pretty much decides whether you get a golden ticket to Hollywood or not. I'm positive the Big 3 still have a say in the matter, so you'd have to bring your "A" game, but the Executive Producers pre-screened all the winners that head to round 3... and there in front of them are notes... those notes tell the Big 3 what has happened so far.

From Hollywood, that's where it becomes a talent competition. But only after they've weeded out somewhere around 3,000 really talented individuals per location... who never even got a chance.

So there you go. I had fun - but I was quick to perceive the real magic behind this competition. I could see it clearly what they were looking for...

Ratings, of course.

So,

I've decided something. There are better ways than American Idol that will get me stardom, if that's what I really want. Is it what I really want? I don't know. But I'm going to look for some representation to find out. I am indeed an actor, singer, DJ, whatever - perhaps its time to take it seriously... and go out the right way, not just the big dreams I've always had.

Also, a word about CallMeJ.com and .tv... This blog was my first venture, it's been around for a while though, so that doesn't really count. So my new first veture, will be JRadio - clever name I know - which is in its pre-production stage. I'm creating fancy logos, some good programming, and some quality content. I will be streaming the station on uBroadcast, with a simulcast HOPEFULLY on winAMP. I will also take my best of live, and create a podcast from it. It will be a mix of live shows and playlists, much like my old station, DancePhoenix. I'm very excited to be back on ameture radio. I really enjoy the hobby, would I like to make it a career? I'm not so sure, as an ameture radio DJ, I'm my own boss, I decide what to play and how I should sound. It's just fun. If a paycheck was involved... it would be a different story.

After that - I look to put my face out there a little more... literally. Next will be J Vision (or something original and clever like that), a monthly episode-based tv webcast that will be available. I will make that available via stream and as a video podcast. It will be an extention of this blog, the radio and my general life. It will be my thoughts and observations, fully produced for your viewing pleasure. I'm very excited about this - I'm thinking it will start early next year. One aspect I've already thought of is the "In Car Interview," A taxi-cab confessions type ride around asking questions type deal. I'll be interviewing locals first, hoping to grab an audience and then get bigger from there. Picture it: Starting with picking their favorite tunes (it's got to be music related a little) to their interests in arts and life. Real interviewing, non of this Larry King Barbara Walters Katie Currick type stuff. Just good ol' J asking some thought provoking questions.

But that's a ways away. I'm getting ahead of myself. Small goals J, Small goals.

So I've been smoke free for 45 days. Apparently you're considered a non-smoker after 30. So.... good for me.

Next is my gut.

Here's to the future, friendly readers of my mind. Go forth and be free.

Keeping the Faith

SO, OK... I get it. I know it's about ratings. I know its just about who's lucky that day and who's not. I know the first round is all about what producer you get in front of and not really skill. I know that next week thousands of us could be taking the walk of shame past the other thousands of hopefuls. So I know not to take it personally.

But I also know - I have as much a chance at round one as the next guy. That if I make it to the second round, then I actually HAVE a chance of making it further... perhaps to the top. I know I need something, something in my life that I can look back on and be like "hey that was a big step."

I know I need a jump start. Some type of access. A boost. I need money too... and while this... ISN'T money... it's certainly a start, or a chance to at least make some.

So - I'm trying out for American Idol

I know I know!! I'd be selling out. I'd be a slave to "the MAN." I'd be a source of ridicule for Simon Cowell... at least I'm sure Paula would love me. Randy will just say "You're just doing your thing dawg."

Then if I make it to Hollywood, then it's the thrill of the fancy hotel, the big Audition day, the drama with the strange girl from the Midwest. Not saying that all girls from the Midwest are strange...

Then if I make it to the top 50 - the top 50!! Woo hoo! It's Ryan Seacrest and the Coke couch in the red room, interviews and a back story. Live auditions of songs I have to learn in a week. Call in 866-4-IDOL-06 for Justin as I smile at the camera before the commercial break.

Then if I make it to the top 12 - it's tour hopeful! Tweenie fans and signing autographs! It's getting forgotten two weeks after I'm voted off or the hopeful record deals after three months...

Maybe I'll make it to top 10? Be locked into the Fox Idol nationwide tour and gearing up for VoteForTheWorst.com support, complete with a funny cartoon caricature of me and a nickname like "JustBAD" or "Chubbywubby Wustin."

Then comes the Top 5? The chance to perhaps being remembered past a month... more signs and tweenie fans, the "Idol Gives Back" show, a trip home to a stadium full of Justin fans... press conferences and National Anthem Spots. A Ford commercial of me driving up in a red Mustang looking cool with some Katherine McBerino Pickler look-alike. Singing a song about friendship or big dreams.

The Ryan Seacrest says, "Will one of these be... the next American Idol? It's up to you America!"

No, it's up to the Producers. Then it's up to the Executive Producers. Then it's up to the Producers and Paula, Randy, and Simon. Then it's up to more producers and assistants and people that aren't really talent scouts. Then it's up to America to vote, and the record company to decide whether I'm marketable or not. Then it's up to America to vote, and the researchers to make sure I'm not into anything shady, who will tell the producers. Then it's up to the editors, who can make me look good or bad. It's up to the Producers and Ryan to say good things about me and pump me up, or just to introduce me like I would a Bridesmaid. Then maybe, just maybe it's up to America for the final vote... eh... maybe - if the producers are sure I'm the one they want and I'm the sure winner by vote...

Then it's on to one year of stardom. National Anthems at Cardinals football games, the opening day at Baseball games. Nationwide tours and being treated like royalty as long as I'm a good little puppet for the man. It's a one album we'll see if this really works record deal with a $1 Million signing bonus that I'm not sure when I actually get. It's probably less sale volume and production, studio time and all the amenities of being a star. It's being pimped up like a whore for the music industry and I will become what I have been cynic against for all this time.

The next American Idol.

So I guess you can say "Good Luck." Because I have just as much chance of winning a million dollar Keno game than this contest where I need skill apparently to succeed.

Talent search? Maybe... see you on the cut reel. I've decided on singing "Keeping the Faith" by Billy Joel as my audition piece.

Call Me J

I think it is only fitting that one day, people will remember my name, not just because I make it easier on them, but because I did something big enough for them to be affected by it.

Until then, I just ask people to call me J.

The reason behind this change is not because I do not like my given name Justin, but more that I am tired of being called everything but Justin. Jason, Jeff, Jeremy, Joe, Jack.

I'm so mediocre that my name is almost forgotten seconds after I leave some one's presence. I say almost, because they normally remember... what? The J part.

Ah, the J part.

So, in an effort to make that some one's life easier, Call Me J. Do it with gusto.

Now, the point. I have been at it again, the creative juices are flowing, and I'm ready to take on another task set forth by my own brain. As you may have noticed: DJJPHOENIX.COM is GONE. It is no more. Simply put, I do not go by that any more. I go by J, remember?

I came to a recent realization that DJing hasn't ever been the only thing I've done. I do lots of shit, technically. And lots of shit is what I should put out to all of you. Let's break it down for some example purposes.

I made a website, on my own, dedicated to me being a DJ.

I made graphics for that website, on my own...

Those mixes I did, I also edited them and mastered them.

Those Flash videos I did? Yep I did them. I edited songs for those too, quite well I may add.

Oh and then I kept you all up to date with pages and pages of rambling on the Internet some people like to call a blog.

And I take pictures.

And I have a brain that goes a mile a minute, always thinking of new shit, to add to my old shit.

I know how to work lighting, stage lighting. I know how to design sound setups.

I can build a computer.

I do weddings.

I can sing, and act.

I can NOT dance, however.

And on top of all that - I was a DJ. I did 90% of my shit, so I can promote myself being a DJ... when the answer was staring me right in my face. Why don't I just do... ALL of it. ALL, OF, IT.

If tomorrow comes and somebody wants me to DJ? I'll DJ. The next day if someone needs me to sing, I'll sing.

Sounds a little crazy, though. I have always said, I'm good at a lot of things, and I know a little about everything. But I'm not GREAT at anything and I don't know A LOT about anything.

So, I need to focus. What am I MOST GOOD at? MOST GOOD? Other than my command of the English Language... I need to find my niche - in the midst of all the things I love to do, there must be a niche somewhere that either wraps them all together or makes me leave it all and become a monk.

What?

So, the point. I created a new website that wraps it all together.

CallMeJ .com and .tv

Dot Com will be the headliner site, it will be the online resume... the pictures of me, about me - stuff like that. Links, etc.

Dot TV will be the beefy stuff. Everything from my mixes to this blog to a new video endeavor I'm looking into. Not porn... I got out of that a long time ago. And my pictures, too.

Dot Com is the "talk the talk,"
Dot TV is the "walk the walk."

Got it? Welcome to the beginning of yet another chapter. There will be many more, I'm sure.

See you next time.