Me

Courtesy of Serendipity Videography:

What a great night that was! THANK YOU for the awesome video!

Month in Review

WOW.

October was pretty much non-stop for me. Every day I had a new or continuing project and I don't think I had any time to relax!

First, with the "day job" I have been working on putting together something for the recognition of the other employees to propose to management. Right now is not the best time to propose it, but soon will be and I'm super excited about it!

Then, with school I'm taking two classes: Web development and Studio Music Recording. Awesome classes. The web class is interesting although I know a lot about it already so I have had an easy time with it. As far as the studio class though, its amazing. I learn new things every week and I'm so excited to be a part of it. I'm working right now on a project that will compare and contrast the difference between vocal and speech miking. There IS a difference!

I've made a couple new friends from those classes too, which is awesome. I'm really happy to be social and the greatest part about it is normally in classes like the ones I'm taking, we immediately have a common bond of interests. That's cool. Makes conversation spark a lot easier.

Then there's the other job, the DJ job.

I'm super excited about the weddings coming up this weekend and next weekend! I've been working really hard on both of them to make sure everything will be perfect for my clients. I'm very excited to be a part of their day and I already feel like family to them! But that's the future, October was a BLAST! Every weekend I had an event, sometimes two (much to my girlfriend's silent discontent I'm sure!), but all of them equally fun as I was allowed to be a part of their special story. As exhausted as I was come each week beginning, the weekends seemed to re-energize me and reaffirm the reason why I do weddings and still do them. Call me cheesy, but I love being a part of them and as much as I gripe to myself having to wake up early, stress about music and the agenda, get the equipment, setup, stress some more - by the first dance I'm usually fully in the zone, remembering why I love this.

Special thank you has to go out to some recent clients, Nate and Diane - thank you SO much for a great night! I met them about a year prior and couldn't wait to be a part of their day because Nate was tons of fun! He loved to dance and you don't see that much with guys these days!

Marney and Justin, best of luck to you both, Marnie I hope you're rested now! Their wedding was beautifully set at the Valley Ho, but the poor girl was exhausted once the dancing came around! It's alright, we had a blast anyway!

Mindy and Jonathan - LOVED working with you two! Your awesome grand entrance set the tone for a fun-filled night that even ran late! This wedding looked as beautiful as it was fun. At the Valley Ho again, they set up their ceremony in the round outside in the courtyard. It was beautiful. Then cocktails on the roof, then finally a gorgeous reception in the main ballroom. Decorated with uplights from the Valley Ho, table centerpieces that had lamps in them - that was really cool! Not to toot my own horn, but our intelligent light package added so much to the event as well. Sexy static lighting for the "first impression" and for dinner, then the party later looked fantastic! LOVE that package!

By the way - those two weddings were both shot by a very talented photographer, Sergio, kudos to him, I really enjoyed working with him and his pictures are fantastic! Check out his website and blog as well for samples.

Thanks to the Valley Ho as well for being so accommodating! Kenny, Dawn and their staff are awesome!

This past week was even more interesting, for the first wedding of November I actually handed over the mic to one of the Groomsmen for the night - let me tell you how tough that was! =) They are from Canada, and tradition there was that a family member MC'd the evening - I hardly spoke on the mic the whole night! They had a GREAT party as well, going overtime - I couldn't get them to STOP dancing! But hey, that's the way it's supposed to be, I can't complain! They were a great couple and I hope they keep in touch!

Last night we had a Bridal Showcase at Pointe Hilton at Tapatio Cliffs, and it was a success! I met some great new clients, I'm really excited to work with them! Bethany, Gretchen and Jackie were there, Bethany is getting married May 3rd next year. We talked for a while, got to know each other - by the end of the night I was seeing family photos! It was really warming, to connect with clients that way. Often at major bridal shows the 5 minutes we get isn't nearly enough time to show a potential client all we're made of; I really enjoy the opportunity to sit and talk with future brides and get to know them. They booked, and requested me (yay!) so I'll get to see them in a couple months!

So that's all - and - not to get as political as my last post but, congrats to President Elect Barack Obama! I'm anxious to see where he will take our country.

Looking forward to the rest of November!

The Political Post

Let's get one thing straight - I know you don't care how I stand on the issues. I don't care about that.

My wonderful girlfriend whom I care very much for can occasionally get "Politic-ed out," especially on the days when there is something new and important that I want to make her ears bleed with.

So I like to talk.

So for the sake of our relationship and for the sake of the fact that we actually do agree on political views for the most part... she really doesn't want to hear about how I feel about the candidates for the six hundredth time.

So here I am.

Let's make it perfectly clear to start. I am an American. There is no doubt that whether you consider yourself a Democrat or a Republican or Independent or Green or Purple, Red, Blue what ever color - if you care about the way our Country is run, and you care about how we live our lives in this Country - you are ALL American.

We are ALL American because we want to be, because we are proud to be, and because we have something to stand for - and that's what makes this country great.

So let me be clear once more. I am a Democrat. A Democrat-American.

The Republican-Americans of this world are not wrong in their views on how the country should be run. That is their view. And to those Republican-Americans, most of them pretty much think that the Republican way is the right way and any other way is not the right way. It's the other way.

But personally, as a Democrat-American, PERSONALLY - I think the Republicans have to be up outside their minds if they think that the majority of this nation wants the same old politics we've had for the past eight years.

Let's take a look at the past eight years - shall we?

Let's be honest that the debauchery DID NOT begin with the attacks of September 11th, 2001. It began when we realized that Americans just voted for a guy that would rather take vacations and occasionally "talk about stuff..." than actually BE the President of the United States.

THEN the Attack happened. Which may I add - has been the biggest Washington fuck up for all parties and that is reason #1 why this nation is great - we are able to see how big of a fuck up that was. Starting with the lack of response, the three year time table it took to investigate that - oh? We KNEW about this? Why didn't anyone DO anything about this? (See above)

Then the fact that we retaliate against the terrorist leader Osama Bin Ladin... well kinda - since the Bin Laden family sits in the Oil Industry's (or rather - the Bush Family's) back pocket - they just kinda sent some troops over there and went "We can't find him."

THEN! THEN We went to war... with... NOBODY! We said Iraq is the stage where we will show our awesome power, and we went in there and crumbled an entire city with "shock and awe" and brought down the completely un-related terrorist regime of Saddam Hussein. Who... really didn't have weapons of mass destruction. So what if he was an ass hole to his people... it wasn't like he blew up the World Trade Centers.

And this endless war on terror continues to BE the only terror we have. The terror we have with colored threat levels. The terror and fear that has been enhanced only by the Bush administration and the media. The terror at the airports, the liquid bombs, the shoe bombs. THAT's the real terror, and it caused us to VOTE FOR HIM A SECOND TERM!

SAVE US Mr. Bush! SAVE us from the terror that is waiting in the wings. SAVE us from the guns pointed at American soil. SAVE US from the car bombs and the SCUD missles and the illegal aliens and the bad people in the middle east! Save us!

THAT was the real terror. And this "war" was a direct result of it. Now we sit in this endless war on terror, and they fight us only because... we're still there. They don't like us. They may not like our views. Does that make them wrong? No. That makes them who they are.

Did anyone ever stop to think that even though WE wouldn't stand for a dictatorship, that other countries worked on one? Did anyone ever stop to think that just because WE don't like the idea of Communism, does that mean the Communists are running their country wrong? No. There is no right or wrong here people. It's just the way it's run. We have our flaws too - and it's THOSE flaws that I think WE should be focusing on. Spread freedom, not by blowing up other countries and creating war - but by leading by example. Just being free.

This country is great because we are free. In any other country, upon posting this I would be arrested, persecuted and hanged.

That may work for them. That's just not how we roll.

So we lead by example. We show how prosperous we can be as a free, growing country... where people come to our shores knowing that we are the promise land.

It hasn't been very good lately. The past four years we began seeing the after effects of an unjust and unnecessary war. The economy under the Republican "trickle down theory" is in recession. Gas prices are higher than they've ever been. Mortgage foreclosures at record highs. Unemployment, outsourcing, massive mergers putting a strain on small business... all while the top 1% wealthiest people and businesses enjoy the tax cuts that Republicans always talk about.

Then, something reared its ugly head. Republicans seem to shed a blind eye to it, but there was no escaping it this time. Global Warming. It is the cause of the warming of the Gulf of Mexico. It is the number one reason - they only reason, hurricanes are so powerful lately, and the reason why there are so many. The Earth's warming pattern is cyclical - yes. But not like this. It is worse than ever in recorded history - and there sat the state of Louisiana. Georgia. Alabama - as they got bombarded by a cat 5 hurricane named Katrina.

We're not even IN the K's yet and we've already seen now a chain of 4 major hurricanes barrelling towards the United States.

Is Global Warming just a myth? Do we really have nothing to do with it? Republicans seemed to think so, so did the Bush administration - and they did NOTHING - except make it worse when he lifted the controls on burning fossil fuels into the air. Now they want to drill for MORE oil, MORE gas, now on AMERICAN soil - a BANDAID to the real issue: Our Earth is not breathing easy these days. Soon, there will be no more war, no more fear.. because there will be nothing left for us here.

But this is what makes this Country great. This is why I LOVE being an American. I have the ability on this free forum to speak my mind. Peacefully.

Why is that so bad? Why can't we question our government? Why can't we come up with new ways? Why can't we say - WAIT! This can't be the only way to run our country!

We can, it's called voting Democrat.

This year, I have been more interested in politics than ever before. This year our American public has the ability to really make a difference in the way our country is run. On one hand you have Senator John McCain and his running mate Sarah Palin. Both model Americans, McCain here from AZ, suffered as a war vet, and then fought hard in the senate to pass the bills and ideas that he thought were right. Sarah quickly went from city counsel, to mayor, to Governor of Alaska - not an easy feat... one would say that alone has something to admire.

But its not the people that I question. Let's even break down the barriers that I don't even question the fact that Palin happens to be a woman - strategically placed to perhaps take the Hillary vote away from the Democrats - I won't even go there. It's not the people.

It's the policies. They want to "Spread freedom abroad. Ending tyranny and slavery." Folks, that means going to WAR WITH MORE COUNTRIES. That alone should be the clear sign that the terror is not as much from the Taliban, but more from the people that put them on a pedestal, and LET them terrorize us.

It's the policies I don't like.

But does that make me un-American? No. I'm proud of this country, I'm proud of its military and I'm proud of its people. I'm proud that we have the ability to speak out like this.

Unfortunately for the Republicans, not only to I agree with the policies of the Democratic party - I also am one of the many that are very inspired and moved by a great speaker and leader that has been chosen as our representative: Barack Obama.

And they aren't just words to me. They make sense. As broken down as I can make it - taking away the flashiness of the DNC and the pedestal that we have put this man upon... his message is clear. His ideas are clear. We really just need to change, and we need to change now. We need to stop the bandaids to this government, be aggressive and break away from the norm. Stop relying on foreign oil not by drilling more here - but by not using it... ever again. To raise taxes - YES raise them, to businesses and the top 5%, which really does lower them for the rest of the hard working country that these days can't seem to save a dime. Increase wages, increase the help for the needy. Increase health care! Did you hear Palin's speech? I didn't hear her mention anything about the health care these days... and with a disabled child and a pregnant teen and a son about to leave for Iraq? Oh wait, that's true - she's a politician, her health care is covered.

So... does this sound like a political speech? Yeah... it kinda does. It's just I'm tired of scraping up change to afford fuel - I'm tired of avoiding the doctor because I'm afraid of what it may REALLY cost down the line. I'm tired of the trickery on both sides - making it about the people and not the policies.

But when you break it down - for me - the policies I stand behind are Democrat.

My representative is Barack Obama. I'm proud to be an American because I can stand behind someone else's ideas, as if they were my own - and speak out about them fully. All I know these days is that right now we've had a Republican in office for the past eight years. How's that been working out for us? Really? In my eyes - the Republican policies are old and tired...

... and its time for a change.

Obama 08

Help me help my representative get the next Presidency - go to www.barackobama.com

The Sites I Like

This, is not an ad.

That being said, I feel that perhaps my fan base is saying, "J, what do you like? We know how you feel, why not talk about that which interests you..."

That's what I feel that you are saying. So as I enjoy a big MF'n bowl of beef-flavored ramen noodles, I thought to myself, what DO I like?

I must foremost (WHOA!) mention that these are splendid nuggets I have found on the web because of days of aimless "cross-browsing." Cross-browsing is the practice of going to one website of interest, and clicking a link to another site that may interest me and continuing from there. Thus a never-ending cycle of browsing new and exciting websites becomes a hobby. Here, my friendly readers, is a non-exhaustive (WOO!) list of some of my favorite websites that may have absolutely nothing to do with me. Let me also say, that me simply linking my site to theirs gives them more viewing pleasure upon the tops of search engines, such as Google. Whom, I have to owe the power of this blog to. Thanks Google.

And so I begin:

• The Sneeze.com - Half Zine, Half Blog, Half not good with fractions: Meet Steve, a normal guy with a wife and a kid, who owns a blog site, just like me. The Sneeze however, is unique in his observant humor and slapstick comedy, this is not your normal guy. Check out the best of or just start at the beginning and laugh till you cry. Famous posts include "Steve don't eat it!" and "The Toilet Naming Contest" - The winner was "The Shatner." Enjoy.


• Improveverywhere.com - Oh how I love drama. I love drama people with nothing to do. I love large collections of drama people in a major city like New York. Improv Everywhere say they "Cause Scenes, and that is just the beginning. Some of the funniest moments and the most amazing reality pics and vid as these "Agents" randomly involve the locals in dramatic humor, and they never say a word about it. Watch and be amazed.


• Emotioneric.com - I found this little gem recently when searching for an avatar for a message board. I didn't find an avatar. What I found was this site, where one guy (Eric)conveys requsted emotions (i.e. - happiness, sadness, or "Gee Wally, that was swell!") A good hour was wasted. It was lovely.


• Armorgames.com - Armor games is the number 3 reason I use the computer. #1 being my Website and business, #2 being... well anyway, this is #3. Hundreds of fantastic little flash games that I can't play at work. So I enjoy them at home next to my girlfriend in bed. Favorite games include "Fancy Pants adventure" and "Four Second Frenzy." Play on.


• LOSTpedia.com - First let me say, a WIKI is like a BLOG, it is a general name for an open source editable informational document on the web, much like a BLOG is a online web log. That being said, do not confuse Wikipedia.org, with LOSTpedia.com. They are both WIKI's, one is dedicated to everything, and I mean EVERYTHING; the other is dedicated simply to the greatest TV show... ever: LOST. If you want to know everything about LOST, or you think you know better, you can even edit the content... because its a WIKI. Does that make sense?


• Wikipedia.org - I mean let's be honest here, I'm on this site EVERY STINKIN DAY. There is more information - for free - on this site than that guy from Jeopardy that went on like a 70 game streak. It's a WIKI however - and now we know that it means that it is an editable open source. That means it could be wrong. That means don't use it for research papers. I've researched everything from the rock 'n' roll revolution to the Chaos Theory.


• AskMen.com - for guys. It's like an instruction manual for life, gentlemen.


• HowStuffWorks.com - This site is fantastic. You may know How it's made on the Discovery/Science Channels, well this is how it WORKS. Everything from cars to audio to dvds to bridges, viruses to how kissing works. Ever wonder - "How does that wor-" Yep. It's on there.

The Best of My Brain

I've decided to create a best of list. Posts that I am proud of or not so proud of that will entertain you regardless.

103 posts ago, I pretty much thought to myself... "What the hell?" I knew this was public domain. I knew people would read this stuff. I didn't think anyone would really care though. But some did. My posts got longer and more detailed, involved. Now I think back... why did I do this? Why not just have a journal? Why not just make it private?

I think its the little thrill I get knowing someone could be reading my thoughts. Its even more of a thrill if they understand them, too.

So, on with the list:

• Bad Rep for Guys - and for good Reason - Back in August '05 one of my best friends was hurt by a guy that cheated on her with two other women. I know - here was my rant about it. Reading back, I could tell how angry I was, because I often didn't make any sense. It's crazy how much tunnel vision we have in anger... Enjoy.
• Welcome Back - Ah, September '06, oh how things have changed since then. But, read up about how I felt on my arrival home from a trip to Chicago. The fond memories, the tough things waiting for me at home.
• Vibrations - One of my many attempts at writing artistically. I'm not very good at it, but enjoy on my my favorite posts of mine that I look back on occasionally and say... Good job me.
• Unique Reflections from Bubbles in my Coffee - A play on favoritism here, if you know me you then know that I love coffee, black and lots of it. But that's not what this post is about. This was a tough day for me, and the "artistic writing" came out in this post as I was hashing out my experiences. What was produced was what I think the best post I've written... or the worst, either way I pat myself on the back.
• Ode to Blue - Jamaican Blue Coffee house, now closed, was the spot where much of my thoughts came from. Many turning points in my life happened, from The Blue. I talk about that here. Remember, I love coffee.

So there ya go, those are my favorites. If you don't think so, if you think one or another is better - leave me a comment! Or just enjoy the archives.

Its fun to look back.

Thanks for all the memories, dear friends.

Ha Ha I Joke I Joke

So, much like just about any ride at the Disney Theme Parks, I waited and waited in line after line, in spot after spot. They got us pumped up, we screamed, we sang. We smiled for the camera. All 10,000 of us. There we were, just a bunch of hopefuls, sucked in to the magic that is TV, screaming every time someone asked us..

"Someone in this room, could be the next American Idol."

Well except me. I'm not.

After all that waiting - my 15 second chance at stardom ended with "Thank you, but no thank you."

Ah, the magic of TV. The magic of ratings. Did I jinx myself too much by trying not to be attached to the idea of making it? Did I not care enough? I just didn't want to get my hopes up. I knew it was slim chances of being lucky enough to make it to the next round - I knew that. Maybe that was it. Maybe I should have been more attached to the idea of making it. But its the producers and the magic of TV that feel otherwise.

You see, the process is a lot different from what you see on TV. People perceive that it starts with this long line of hopefuls, and in two days, it weeds its way down to the "Hollywood" winners.

Quite possibly, yes, actually, but not the way you think.

Paula, Simon, and Randy come two weeks later, after the cattle call auditions. The cattle call, is what America does not see. Adrian and I were keeping tally. We were able to start picking out the golden ticket winners before they even opened their mouth. You see, remember American Idol is a business, not a talent competition. If it was a talent competition, ONLY the talented would make it past round one, they would etch down from there. That's not how it worked. Hundreds of actually talented individuals got sent home, no golden ticket. I'd like to think I'd be decent enough to make it at least to round two, but no golden ticket. But yet, tons of un-talented singers were getting through, with thoughts in their heads that they are better than the rest. Just because they wore a banana suit or a bikini. Or because they were awesomely terrible. They got sent through.

Then others, some that were talented, had the "look" going on, you know... the "Look." I don't know what that look is, but they had it, and I didn't. They made it to the next round.

Fox producers told us that they don't know what they are looking for, but they know they are not looking for a David Cook, or a Kelly Clarkson, or a Taylor Hicks. They already found them. Makes sense, they want something fresh and unique. Ok, but they "Don't know what they are looking for." So when they tell me that "I'm not what they are looking for..." It tends to be quite the contradiction. Basically they are saying, we don't know what we are looking for but we know you're not it.

Cool, fine. I get it.

Here's where it gets fun though. The people that are awesomely bad that got sent through? They are given the same treatment as the people that are just awesome. So the people that are not good tend to think, and believe, they are good. I would too, honestly I don't know I'm good or not. I think I'm good, people tell me I'm good. And if some official-looking Fox producer told me I'm good I would believe them, and believe it as fact. So when they get in front of Randy, Simon and Paula - and they are "Honest..." there's the magic of TV. Their hopes and dreams are crushed. They get in the confessional and cuss them out, curse them for being so stupid...

You see - most artists will agree with me when I say that we are our worst critics. We hate ourselves and the way we sound. We are constantly trying to better ourselves. When we do something good, or have a good strong performance, we naturally feel good about it, and we know it. When we have a bad performance, we naturally feel bad about it, and we know it. If a producer told me I was good I would thank them, but in my mind I'd be thinking of ways I could do better. That's an artist at work. If Paula, Simon and Randy told me I was good or not good, I would listen to their advice and take it to heart.

Some of these audtitioners... actually I should say most, are not true artists. They're told they don't have to be. They're told that it doesn't matter about talent, just about your look, and how you act and are perceived.

But wait - what happened to this being a "Talent Competition?"

It's not, folks. It's a multi-million dollar business that is focused right on the first 20 hours of show, the "cattle call auditions."

Now, it does BECOME a talent competition... sort of. Those talented singers that they picked day one, go through a grueling screening process come round two. So do the non-talented ones... but they won't be on for long... so stay with me. So let's say about 300 people made it through to round two, executive producers. Out of those 300 let's estimate that about 80 of them are Hollywood potential... wait... only 80? Yep. Not even, if I were to guess. As I said, Adrian and I were keeping tallies. We were able to spot those that went and those that won't. None of them were talented. None.

So out of those 80 or so talented, I'd say about 15-30ish make it to see the "big 3." It's funny that somewhere between 10-25 actually make it to Hollywood week - a connection? Yes. Round two pretty much decides whether you get a golden ticket to Hollywood or not. I'm positive the Big 3 still have a say in the matter, so you'd have to bring your "A" game, but the Executive Producers pre-screened all the winners that head to round 3... and there in front of them are notes... those notes tell the Big 3 what has happened so far.

From Hollywood, that's where it becomes a talent competition. But only after they've weeded out somewhere around 3,000 really talented individuals per location... who never even got a chance.

So there you go. I had fun - but I was quick to perceive the real magic behind this competition. I could see it clearly what they were looking for...

Ratings, of course.

So,

I've decided something. There are better ways than American Idol that will get me stardom, if that's what I really want. Is it what I really want? I don't know. But I'm going to look for some representation to find out. I am indeed an actor, singer, DJ, whatever - perhaps its time to take it seriously... and go out the right way, not just the big dreams I've always had.

Also, a word about CallMeJ.com and .tv... This blog was my first venture, it's been around for a while though, so that doesn't really count. So my new first veture, will be JRadio - clever name I know - which is in its pre-production stage. I'm creating fancy logos, some good programming, and some quality content. I will be streaming the station on uBroadcast, with a simulcast HOPEFULLY on winAMP. I will also take my best of live, and create a podcast from it. It will be a mix of live shows and playlists, much like my old station, DancePhoenix. I'm very excited to be back on ameture radio. I really enjoy the hobby, would I like to make it a career? I'm not so sure, as an ameture radio DJ, I'm my own boss, I decide what to play and how I should sound. It's just fun. If a paycheck was involved... it would be a different story.

After that - I look to put my face out there a little more... literally. Next will be J Vision (or something original and clever like that), a monthly episode-based tv webcast that will be available. I will make that available via stream and as a video podcast. It will be an extention of this blog, the radio and my general life. It will be my thoughts and observations, fully produced for your viewing pleasure. I'm very excited about this - I'm thinking it will start early next year. One aspect I've already thought of is the "In Car Interview," A taxi-cab confessions type ride around asking questions type deal. I'll be interviewing locals first, hoping to grab an audience and then get bigger from there. Picture it: Starting with picking their favorite tunes (it's got to be music related a little) to their interests in arts and life. Real interviewing, non of this Larry King Barbara Walters Katie Currick type stuff. Just good ol' J asking some thought provoking questions.

But that's a ways away. I'm getting ahead of myself. Small goals J, Small goals.

So I've been smoke free for 45 days. Apparently you're considered a non-smoker after 30. So.... good for me.

Next is my gut.

Here's to the future, friendly readers of my mind. Go forth and be free.

Keeping the Faith

SO, OK... I get it. I know it's about ratings. I know its just about who's lucky that day and who's not. I know the first round is all about what producer you get in front of and not really skill. I know that next week thousands of us could be taking the walk of shame past the other thousands of hopefuls. So I know not to take it personally.

But I also know - I have as much a chance at round one as the next guy. That if I make it to the second round, then I actually HAVE a chance of making it further... perhaps to the top. I know I need something, something in my life that I can look back on and be like "hey that was a big step."

I know I need a jump start. Some type of access. A boost. I need money too... and while this... ISN'T money... it's certainly a start, or a chance to at least make some.

So - I'm trying out for American Idol

I know I know!! I'd be selling out. I'd be a slave to "the MAN." I'd be a source of ridicule for Simon Cowell... at least I'm sure Paula would love me. Randy will just say "You're just doing your thing dawg."

Then if I make it to Hollywood, then it's the thrill of the fancy hotel, the big Audition day, the drama with the strange girl from the Midwest. Not saying that all girls from the Midwest are strange...

Then if I make it to the top 50 - the top 50!! Woo hoo! It's Ryan Seacrest and the Coke couch in the red room, interviews and a back story. Live auditions of songs I have to learn in a week. Call in 866-4-IDOL-06 for Justin as I smile at the camera before the commercial break.

Then if I make it to the top 12 - it's tour hopeful! Tweenie fans and signing autographs! It's getting forgotten two weeks after I'm voted off or the hopeful record deals after three months...

Maybe I'll make it to top 10? Be locked into the Fox Idol nationwide tour and gearing up for VoteForTheWorst.com support, complete with a funny cartoon caricature of me and a nickname like "JustBAD" or "Chubbywubby Wustin."

Then comes the Top 5? The chance to perhaps being remembered past a month... more signs and tweenie fans, the "Idol Gives Back" show, a trip home to a stadium full of Justin fans... press conferences and National Anthem Spots. A Ford commercial of me driving up in a red Mustang looking cool with some Katherine McBerino Pickler look-alike. Singing a song about friendship or big dreams.

The Ryan Seacrest says, "Will one of these be... the next American Idol? It's up to you America!"

No, it's up to the Producers. Then it's up to the Executive Producers. Then it's up to the Producers and Paula, Randy, and Simon. Then it's up to more producers and assistants and people that aren't really talent scouts. Then it's up to America to vote, and the record company to decide whether I'm marketable or not. Then it's up to America to vote, and the researchers to make sure I'm not into anything shady, who will tell the producers. Then it's up to the editors, who can make me look good or bad. It's up to the Producers and Ryan to say good things about me and pump me up, or just to introduce me like I would a Bridesmaid. Then maybe, just maybe it's up to America for the final vote... eh... maybe - if the producers are sure I'm the one they want and I'm the sure winner by vote...

Then it's on to one year of stardom. National Anthems at Cardinals football games, the opening day at Baseball games. Nationwide tours and being treated like royalty as long as I'm a good little puppet for the man. It's a one album we'll see if this really works record deal with a $1 Million signing bonus that I'm not sure when I actually get. It's probably less sale volume and production, studio time and all the amenities of being a star. It's being pimped up like a whore for the music industry and I will become what I have been cynic against for all this time.

The next American Idol.

So I guess you can say "Good Luck." Because I have just as much chance of winning a million dollar Keno game than this contest where I need skill apparently to succeed.

Talent search? Maybe... see you on the cut reel. I've decided on singing "Keeping the Faith" by Billy Joel as my audition piece.

Call Me J

I think it is only fitting that one day, people will remember my name, not just because I make it easier on them, but because I did something big enough for them to be affected by it.

Until then, I just ask people to call me J.

The reason behind this change is not because I do not like my given name Justin, but more that I am tired of being called everything but Justin. Jason, Jeff, Jeremy, Joe, Jack.

I'm so mediocre that my name is almost forgotten seconds after I leave some one's presence. I say almost, because they normally remember... what? The J part.

Ah, the J part.

So, in an effort to make that some one's life easier, Call Me J. Do it with gusto.

Now, the point. I have been at it again, the creative juices are flowing, and I'm ready to take on another task set forth by my own brain. As you may have noticed: DJJPHOENIX.COM is GONE. It is no more. Simply put, I do not go by that any more. I go by J, remember?

I came to a recent realization that DJing hasn't ever been the only thing I've done. I do lots of shit, technically. And lots of shit is what I should put out to all of you. Let's break it down for some example purposes.

I made a website, on my own, dedicated to me being a DJ.

I made graphics for that website, on my own...

Those mixes I did, I also edited them and mastered them.

Those Flash videos I did? Yep I did them. I edited songs for those too, quite well I may add.

Oh and then I kept you all up to date with pages and pages of rambling on the Internet some people like to call a blog.

And I take pictures.

And I have a brain that goes a mile a minute, always thinking of new shit, to add to my old shit.

I know how to work lighting, stage lighting. I know how to design sound setups.

I can build a computer.

I do weddings.

I can sing, and act.

I can NOT dance, however.

And on top of all that - I was a DJ. I did 90% of my shit, so I can promote myself being a DJ... when the answer was staring me right in my face. Why don't I just do... ALL of it. ALL, OF, IT.

If tomorrow comes and somebody wants me to DJ? I'll DJ. The next day if someone needs me to sing, I'll sing.

Sounds a little crazy, though. I have always said, I'm good at a lot of things, and I know a little about everything. But I'm not GREAT at anything and I don't know A LOT about anything.

So, I need to focus. What am I MOST GOOD at? MOST GOOD? Other than my command of the English Language... I need to find my niche - in the midst of all the things I love to do, there must be a niche somewhere that either wraps them all together or makes me leave it all and become a monk.

What?

So, the point. I created a new website that wraps it all together.

CallMeJ .com and .tv

Dot Com will be the headliner site, it will be the online resume... the pictures of me, about me - stuff like that. Links, etc.

Dot TV will be the beefy stuff. Everything from my mixes to this blog to a new video endeavor I'm looking into. Not porn... I got out of that a long time ago. And my pictures, too.

Dot Com is the "talk the talk,"
Dot TV is the "walk the walk."

Got it? Welcome to the beginning of yet another chapter. There will be many more, I'm sure.

See you next time.

Do you remember the time?

This, being my 100th post, is going to be a long one. Go grab a snack, and remember to always keep hydrated!

It's important to look back every now and then. A lot of people say, 'don't dwell on the past,' because your not 'in the moment' or something like that. I think the past is just as important to our lives as what is happening this very moment to what we're planning on for the future. If you don't take time to look at where you've been, how do you know if you're getting anywhere? What about your successes and screw ups? They were important when they happened, are they just vapor after the moment happens? No, naturally we as humans are effected by the present as it happens, and that becomes part of us. As we see seconds tick by something else happens and it turns to our history - our story - that I think we must never forget.

George Washington did a lot of great stuff for our country, so did Ben Franklin and John Adams... but because it's in the past do we just forget them? No, we study them somewhere between 3rd and 6th grade. We study them more in high school. Our past of the USA is just as important as our own personal past, and one day if we're in the history books, people will remember us just as much.

So the past is important... even if you're not going to be in any history book.

Looking back on my own past, I see a big rollercoaster ride. I'm pretty much your average guy, I only stand out because of my personality and the fact that I probably annoy people to some level. My friends are either co-workers, or my dog and my best friend is my girl friend. I no longer have a large social agenda. I have two jobs, one of them is low responsibility, so it's easy for me to take accountability for my actions, and fix issues with myself.

The other job, I have emotions, memories, feelings at stake. I am a direct representative of the dreams and hopes of a newly wedded couple. I am the liaison between the brides wishes and her guests. Every bride has a dream about what their day is going to look like. Some are more clear than others, but all of them have at least a bit of an idea. My responsibility is much much greater, so it is hard for me to bite the bullet if I ever screw up.

I do screw up, occasionally. It's not a great feeling, let me tell you. Whether its something I didn't do or follow up on or just a careless mishap, mistakes happen. Most of which can be avoided, by me. Unfortunately, because of the nature of the job, screwing up even a little can be detrimental. Do I feel bad? Yes. But that doesn't matter. My feelings don't count in the matter - the bride's do. Sometimes that reflects poorly on my name.

But, people tell me I'm supposed to put it behind me, and not to dwell on the past. But that past is what I'm represented by - even if the other 101 events I've MC'd are amazing.

So I'm learning. Its funny... I feel like Deja Vu - just a few posts ago I was saying something similar. As I said, mistakes will happen.

But look at me now. You know - 3 years ago I was just a green-horn with no idea how to run a wedding. Up to that point all I had done was take a few classes, barely learning how to touch records on a turntable.

Look at me now, the Wedding DJ and MC. The dark tuxedo, the microphone voice, the "direct your attention to the dancefloor." Clubs? Not for me.

There I said it.

For the same time I had been DJing weddings, in the back of my mind I had dreams of playing out mixes in clubs. I learned how to beatmatch - and well. I learned how to key match - and well. Well? Where am I? What club gig did I get? I got a few times playing out at a small bar on the other side of the state... once a month, to a collection of 5 people. 10 max. Whoopee. Should I appreciate my first shot at club stardom? Absolutely. I appreciate it by seeing that it's not my way of life anymore.

I don't go out anymore! On occasion I do like to get pretty and go get crazy. But there's a limit. I'm still in bed these days by midnight. I like sleep! So how could I even begin to be a club DJ when: No one likes house/techno/trance except for a select few, there's too much competition, I don't like being out past 1am, and I don't even have my own turntables anymore! It was a nice idea - but the feeling I get when I do a wedding - much better. Much more rewarding. Much more work and challenges and responsibility. The life of the wedding MC is the life for me.

I still may write music. I have the ability to, and I would like to think that I could write a couple good songs, but I'm in no rush. I have to focus on not letting these mistakes like the ones I've made in my past happen again. And if I do make mistakes, I need to work on owning up to it the best I can.

The issue is, I'm scared. I'm scared of the truth sometimes. I'm afraid with this much responsibility that if I screw up it means my job, or a pay cut, or less work. I'm afraid that if I mess up people are going to complain about me. I'm afraid of screwing up and I'm afraid of what may happen if I screwed up. So, I'm too scared to just come out with it. "This is what I did wrong, this is what I'm doing to fix it." Or "What can I do to fix it?"

Is it easy? No... this is what causes us to sugar-coat and tap dance. This is what causes us to omit information and leave out facts. To 'edit the story in our favor.' It's lying. We lie to protect our asses.

Is it worth it? What if it comes back to haunt us? What if it bites us in the ass? Then we're even worse off.

"Here's what I did wrong, what can I do to fix it now, and what can I do to avoid it in the future?"

I need work on letting go of the story-telling security blanket.

****************************************

I love love

Another reason I decided that MCing weddings is a good for for me is because of the feeling I get when I see two people totally in love with each other, ready to make that next step in life. As much as one would like to think, your life changes pretty significantly once you put the ring on your finger. It's not so much screwing each others brains out and partying all the time. That's all fun - but a healthy working relationship has to be about two people in a partnership, a work/life relationship. It's about commitment and giving and taking. It's about complimenting each other... not "honey you look nice today..." no more like I cook and she buys, or, I clean and she makes me... =)

The relationship is more than just a feeling. That "feeling of love" we all talk about and hope for definitely comes and goes. It's not constant. It's always growing or maturing, but the real deal is about knowing that if you don't love the one your with today or this week, you know you will later. It's also knowing the opposite. While you two may be in love right now and kissing and holding each other and revelling in the others wonderfulness... next week you're going to hate each other.

What's important is the fact that, sometimes while we have that feeling of "I don't like you right now..." Love - love is work. That 'sickness' and 'natural feeling' I kept talking about all those posts ago? Yeah no that's complete made up crap. That crap is the first couple months. It's the adolescent part of the relationship where its all puppy dogs and ice cream. Its making that jump from the original sickness of puppy love, the naturally in love head in the clouds thing, to the happily doing her laundry and putting the toilet seat down thing. Its the deal where all of a sudden I have no 'social agenda' to the girlfriend becoming the all encompassing social agenda. She's my personal assistant and I'm her personal chef, masseuse, and therapist. After we spend 10 minutes a night fighting over the covers we then cuddle for 20 more and get too hot for covers anyway.

So when I see a couple that instantly upon meeting them, you can see their love coming out of their actions, not just their eyes. They have quirks between each other. They finish the other's sentences. They play fight.

I love that. I can see it, it's magical when they look in each other's eyes the day of, taking the vows, exchanging the rings.

Call me a sappy romantic. I like action films too so that should balance it out a bit.

I love being around it. Its such a great thing being a part of a couple's lives on the happiest day they have had. Next to the day they screw all day on the honeymoon... no I don't want to be a part of that day. I'll have my own one day.

***********************************

So the website, the myspace, all changing format to just focus on me as an MC, and my interests.

Which includes, but is not limited to, music, sex, food and sleep.

Looking forward.

So here it is... my 100th post. My 100th... Published post. Since my first post I said to you all I'm not sure about this writing stuff, that I'm not here to show off artistic talent or showing my journalistic abilities. I just wanted it to be a place to make shit up, and put shit down on the paper.... errr... screen. It was a chance to express myself. To vent, to think-through, to talk out. I spoke my mind here. Honestly, and whole heartily. I made people hate me. I made people think twice about me. The past 99 posts I have reflected, over thought, second guessed myself. I've said things that I've later taken back or corrected. Never once have I regretted what I have written. This is as me as me can be and I know I ramble but I'd like to thank those that are sticking with me. I get a lot of thoughts out, and whether you agree with my thoughts or views or not, you may be able to relate to them.

That's all that matters. Just being able to relate. I know there's someone out there with similar problems and thoughts, or feelings that are close to my own. Somewhere out on the web there are people that know how I feel. That's kinda what keeps me writing here. Someone gets it. Someone gets me.

I'm not lonely by any means. But it helps me in other ways.

This is my legend. This is my story. That's what this is. When I move on... years from now. People will say - "I remember him when..."

"I remember that."

One day when I move on, what will I be remembered for? How will I be important? Will I be the sweet, loving, caring guy? Will I be talked about in the past tense?

"He was so crazy with that stupid blog..."

Was.

Ugh, I shudder at the thought. The death dialogue... the way people talk about you when you move on. Makes me want to sit down and think about what I want them to be saying. Ever think about that?

"He always put a smile on my face," as they wipe away tears, eating finger food and somehow the home cooking just makes them feel better. "I remember he had that ridiculous Internet radio show - I listened! When no one else did, I listened! I used to get so mad at him too!"

Now things are ridiculous, crazy, far fetched. They were perfectly normal when I was alive but then I die - and all of a sudden it becomes bigger than life.

"Oh God he used to annoy the CRAP outta me with his singing!" As they share a little teary smile and a chuckle.

"I loved his singing!"

"You didn't hear it all day everyday like us... still somehow we all loved him for it..."

"Well I think he should have gone on American Idol."

"No way, he would have hated it... he tried out for Arizona Idol once, even made the top 30... didn't win though. I think that's all we could convince him to do."

"Top 30 ain't bad though!"

"Yeah but he LOVED doing musicals... I think his favorite was Forever Plaid."

"Ohhhh I remember that one! He was so funny in those ridiculous glasses!" A smile comes over there face. (There's that 'ridiculous' again.)

But my job is done - Somehow even after I pass, I want to still make people smile. I want them to remember me for the good things - the GREAT things. Inspiration, ambition... I dream big because I want others to dream big with me.

My job is not done yet. I'm not going anywhere yet.

This isn't the past tense - this is the present tense! I still have time! I don't want people to remember me as a fat, lazy fuck up. I've been preaching for 100 damn posts that my calling is to inspire people! To make them smile! To make them happy. What am I doing? Am I doing well?

Who is going to listen to a fat lazy fuck up? The only thing you can do is learn from my mistakes. How fucking embarrassing. Is that what I am? The example on what NOT to do?

All my life I've been the guy that's skated by and done 'just enough.'

Happy wake up call, again. My dreams are too big to sit here and be lazy.

**************************************

Finale.

So as you may have seen, my website that took months to build and work on, is now off the Internet. It is gone.

It will be back, all new and different, under a different address. I'm hoping to change the reason why I have a website, to a more broad and all-encompassing approach. Special thanks to DJ AD, aka CoolStylz Productions for creating my J*Phoenix graphic and helping me out with design ideas.

J*Phoenix is dead.

Just...


... just call me J... I'll be J.

Review Time

So now it's time for the ever-so-wonderful update on Justin's life. My next post will be my 100th, which is fitting, considering last week I just finished my 100th Event as an MC. That means total, I've seen somewhere around 120 different weddings, 5-6 Bar/bat mitzvahs and about 10-15 corporate events all as an MC and a DJ.

100 Events. What did I get? A learning experience.

You see, even though I've seen many different wedding styles, I know I haven't seen ALL of them. Not to mention, even just my general knowledge of how things work I still gain more and more each week. It's a tough process. But I continue to learn every week, every day really... and I continue for my sake to improve on what I say and do at events and in the days between and leading up to the day. But I still need to improve a lot more... and I have a review coming up... not sure if its going to be positive or not.

I've made the commitment to doing weddings. 4 years ago, I decided I wanted to be a DJ, and look at me now. I'm an MC/DJ for one of the top entertainment companies in the nation.

I'm done patting myself on the back, because now as I look forward, I have new things to work toward and work for.

First off, the continuing battle for financial security gets tougher every month. I got rid of the Civic, not because I didn't like having a sporty coupe and low gas costs, but because I couldn't afford the car itself anymore. It wasn't enough room to fit all the equipment I carry on a weekly basis.

I bought a Chevy Tracker. It's not that much bigger but it certainly helps and it keeps me from having to rely on my DJs so much. A tracker looks a lot like a Jeep Liberty or a Suzuki Vitaro... in fact its got a Suzuki engine in it. I like it a lot. Got a terrible deal on it but its better than my last deal!

Alex is out of town, she went to Paris, leaving me alone to bond with her dog Maui. I should say "our dog," cause she is by this point, but for purposes of explaination, it's her, her house, her dog. I just live with them. Although I did sneak in my PlayStation so I can play Final Fantasy XII when I have alone time! lol

Speaking of? Beat the game once already, but then I go back and theres like a whole other game worth of other stuff to beat. Why do they make a game that the "Side Quests" are more to the game than the actual story? And Harder! I fought this dude last night, took me an hour and a half monitoring the fight. Just sitting there, switching charactors, moving them around, splitting them up... it was nuts. Come to find out, that's not the hardest guy in the game... that's the next venture - but I have to work on leveling up my charactors before that happens.

Wow I'm a nerd. But let's just say I love the Final Fantasy series. It should be considered the industry standard on RPG's. It's so much more than just the fantasy aspect of swords and magic. There's more to it. The series always has a compelling and captivating story, usually a great side love story. They have gotten deeper and more complex, too, as the space constraints have been lifted on so many levels; they can really develop each of the main charactors and how they relate to the story. Each of these games is more and more like a mini soap opera, it's not even the fun of the game... it's beating it just so you can see what happens. It's like Lost but you have to fight a dragon or gain levels to get to the next episode. Final Fantasy, unlike many other knock-offs and hopefull RPGs, concentrates not just on the story, but gameplay and graphics, and most importantly to me: Music.

The original composer for Squaresoft wrote an amazing soundtrack to Final Fantasy II (really FFIV, if you know your FF history...) that added a completely new aspect to the game. The music was interactive with what was going on, it was original, it made it more of a story than just text going across the screen. I think very few RPGs have created such compelling soundtracks. I like FF's music so much I've downloaded the soundtracks before.

FF12 is no different. There's a new composer, the old one retired halfway through the completion of the game, but the music is still as fascinating as the game itself. Some of the same recognizible riffs are heard throughout the entire series, which makes it even more fun, to hear familiararties between the games, even as they've evolved from simple Nintendo 8 bit 2 channel music... to the highly anticipated FF13, which is supposed to have 64 bit 7.1 Dolby Surround, and it'll be even more theatrical. I've almost bought a PS3 simply for that game alone. It's not out yet though so I'm in no rush. =)

Enough about that... I just wanted to give my comments on it. I get a little bit of crap for playing video games, I understand, its juvenile and it's "just like every other guy." I don't care - and at least I pick a game that's not MINDLESS! I pick one that you have to put a lot of thought and time into it to be successful.

If only I put that much time and effort into making more money... hmm...

So as I was saying, Alex is gone, and I miss her a lot. Its nice having the bed to myself and the room to myself... but she really is so good for me. She keeps me in line. Right now there's shoes all over the place, clothes on the floor, the toilet seat is up, the shower curtain left open. There's dishes in the sink and I didn't bother to put last night's meal in tupperware I just through the whole pan in the fridge. In my defense though, now I can just put it back on the stove, heat, and eat.

She's good for me. I'm a lot calmer than I used to be. Since I've known her we've gone from partiers to just enjoying a nice night in, with dinner and a blockbuster movie. I do enjoy going out still, hence last Friday. But see even though I drank a little more than usual, I was still home by 1:45, and in bed by like 2:30. That's late for me! I feel like I've "grown up." Not to say that if you got out more than me that your immature or not as grown up as me... trust me if I could afford to go out more often I'd take my girl and we'd hit the town all the time. But it's not that easy these days. We're sacrificing a decent part of our social life for normal food more often and togetherness.

Plus I love sleep, going to bed at 10 with a warm body next to me is like the greatest thing ever.

Ever.

Gotta keep pushing myself more, by the end of the year I want to do some more self-back-patting! =)

PS: Special thanks to VerveEarth.com, apparently I'm one of the 'favorite' blogs. Not sure how high an honor that is but it is wonderful to be noticed, if its even just a little.

Also a shoutout to a couple peeps back home: A belated HAPPY FREAKIN' BIRTHDAY! to Lauren, I think she finally turned 25... welcome to your quarter-century anniversary, and did I hear you were engaged? Yes I do believe so, congrats!!! Speaking of Engaged, getting WAY excited that I may actally have the available funds to get myself and perhaps the girlfriend to Williamsburg to help celebrate my best friend Emily's wedding, totally stoked!!

Some local news: My home-boy DJ Adrian or DJ Adr!@n or some variation thusforth, started showing up again in the Tempe Music scene at Zuma bar and grill, I heard him Friday night - he's off the CHAIN!!! Again. Me. Nerd. Anyway, my other home-boy has collaborated with not only DJ Adrian but others to start Beyond Capacity Productions. They're one of my friends on MySpace... check 'em out.

Me Next post vill be very big, deep and well thought out. If you know anything about this blog, you know that I like to write even though I don't think I'm great at it... I just like getting stuff down. It will be my 100th post. Happy century post to me!

Stagefright

As a DJ, I consider each wedding, or party, a performance by me. Even when my job is to stay behind the scenes, let the guests take the lead, I am indeed performing. I have lines. I have trigger points and blocking. The booth is where I feel comfortable, but often I have to step out from behind the booth and be the show, the leader. I have to direct attention, give attention to, and so on.

I still get nervous.

Every wedding and party I do I still get nervous. According to the website, I've done over 150 weddings. I think they've 'edited ahead' of the game considering the reality of it, I believe I'm around officially 95 weddings as an MC, probably about 10 or so of those as a DJ. Some of that 95 is also corporate or private gigs most likely. Before that 95 I probably have an additional 15-25 weddings and events as a DJ only, before I became an MC and while I was in training.

That's not that much, if we break it down that way. I think its a good thing that I still get nervous. It keeps me on my toes... keeps me alert. When I'm nervous I take full whooping deep breaths, shake it out of my body a little bit. I run over the things I'm going to say, practice the names of the bridal party a 15th time. I close my eyes... listen to the air flow by, think about the energy level. Then my eyes open again, I glance at the booth from the dancefloor, make sure everything is straight. Presentation is very important to me.

I like the production of it. I love making weddings a showcase, a showcase of two people that absolutely love eachother. Am I a bit corny? Cheesy? Inside, yeah. I'm a big fan of watching love happen, seeing it first hand, and you can really tell too... the couples that REALLY love eachother versus the couples that settled for each other. There IS a difference! But the day of... the most important day of the couples' lives... its always magical.

And its up to me to make it memorable - in a GOOD way! I mean lets face it, any schmoe can make it memorable for how much it sucked!

So damn right I get nervous. Without it, I'd be a cocky, know-it-all DJ that trainwrecks every time.

I Was There

A quick preface....

As the US Navy's Blue Angels Soared over University of Phoenix Stadium yesterday, American Idol winner Jordin Sparks of Glendale belted her final note in the Star Spangled Banner. Where was I? I was behind the stadium, with the rest of my crew, making the final turn of our 5,500 pound piece of stage into its spot where it would rest until halftime. What an operation.

I wish they did an episode of Build it bigger for this, or reality show that gives people an inside look into the magic behind a multi-million doller, eleven minute, fifty-eight second halftime show. Because as little as the camera allows to show you, and as much as you may think you know about these halftime performances... you don't know jack.

This morning, I have been getting a nice chuckle from the news articles about the show. About things they think they know. "Tom Petty looked like he was lip syncing," or "The flying V guitar smashing into the heart was delightfully cheesy," were some of the many negative quotes I pulled from random after-the-game articles. Did they ever consider the months of planning, working out details, set design, construction, hiring of stage hands, production staff, third party lighting and sound crews... the over three thousand people that come together to help make a 12 minute show pleasurable for the entire world?

I say, great show Don Mischer Productions and White Cherry Entertainment.

Just two weeks ago, I had not a clue what I was doing. Thursday for dress rehearsal and yesterday on game day, myself along with the 400 person volunteer stage crew were a well-oiled, energetic machine that put together a massive stage and set in under 6 minutes.

Eat your heart out.

The ballet of carts that is the halftime show setup happens, as all the sound equipment, lighting, and enormous pieces of stage march onto the field while you comfortly watch the entertaining Super Bowl commercials, and "the Boys" as they analyse the first half. We're shouting commands and sweating, 'bumping and cutting in' our carts to the cart next to us and running for our lives so we don't get run over by other pieces of stage. You'll never see it. Right after the second commercial break the halftime show cuts in with a full completed stage as if it appeared out of nowhere.

The successful show on game day is homage to us, the crew, for working our tails off the past couple weeks. Football game? What football game? Well, OK I was very happy to see the Giants win it...

Tom Petty and the Heartbreakers.

Let's just put it all out there. These guys are as American Rock 'n' Roll as it gets. Mr. Petty himself has never been a Glam-rock, he's not the most attractive guy, but he is still going strong. Lip Syncing? No. Not a chance. I was there, I saw it, his mic was on, he's still Rock 'n' Roll.

But the lights, the crowd, the pyro... so much work... Tom Petty and His Heartbreakers, fed off of this work, paid homage to us as we all stood in awe... what a great show.

So I'm a little upset with the negative press he's recieved. Press basically calling it vanilla, decent but nothing to write home about. I call bullshit. If you were watching it on TV, you only saw a small piece of the true meyhem that was this 12 minutes. What you didn't see, is that the NFL, knows their audience. The stands were filled for the show. There wasn't a slew of people bailing for the consessions like anticipated. They had their butts in their seats. I was on the field, toward the back of the selected crowd, I could hear the fans behind me all at the top of their lungs: "And I'm FREEEE!!!!!"

Vanilla? Hardly. Safe? Absolutely. Yeah, the NFL wants to play it safe because obviously the younger 'still edgy' artists still want to "have you naked by the end of this song," and conviently pull a piece of clothing off on National TV.

Now listen, I'm not an old fogey, I still fuckin cuss when I feel its appropriate to allow so, but let's face facts here people. Not all of us are as vocally lax as others. Not all of us want to see a pair (or just one) on a Sunday afternoon. That's just fact. Does it mean that I don't appreciate a good pair when its appropriate? No!

But it's National TV. It's the Super Bowl. Move on.

Saying Tom Petty was vanilla... Please. Tom Petty rocks, you get up there and do it like him.

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So there we were, Alex and I, sitting in the auditorium of the Maricopa Events Center. We had just arrived, been shuffled through a line given wristbands, a sack lunch, and a long sleeve-T to commemorate the day. Pregame was on and they were loading the pregame crew into buses to head over to the stadium. We met our fellow cart members, cart 3, "E-Brake" we called it because of an interesting story involving our hired stage hand and, an E-Brake. I won't tell you that one though.

Today was the day. For two weeks we had been pushing this piece of stage around fields, parking lots, up and down ramps; each time the cart getting loaded with more and more crap and getting more detailed. Then came the band equipment, amps and pianos, guitars and hammond organs were disbursed and strapped down to the different carts. Cords to the lights were added, and all of a sudden each piece of stage started becoming its own animal, flocking together to be a part of a larger beast.

Some crew members didn't have stage pieces, they had lights. Enormous, spotlight-sized lights called Alpha One Falcon Colour - that have full pan/rotation and are color changing. Some others had carts with power and data drops on them, taking what would be many cords down into few cords. Then of course the enormous JBL Array speakers - 4 each cart - that were placed all over the stadium. I'd say there were about 50 carts, and stage pieces total.

12 minutes.

The decision was passed down from the big dogs in the NFL to close the roof. They were expecting rain. The threat of rain was enough for them not to want to have to go through the whole game hoping it doesn't rain, so they closed the roof. That meant, that the 50-100 explosives that they had planned for this massive show, had to be toned down. No pyro. Well, not NO pyro... but - let's just say that less than 20% of the pyro actually was used.

The first bad news of the day. Other than we weren't able to actually watch the game... which we kinda knew anyway.

So there we sat, staring at the stadium walls from "The Platter" for an hour and 45 minutes. Some guys brought a mini football. Some folks found a small bus tv and stood in staggerd lines to try and catch a glimpse. Others stood just revelling at what has already happened. Within seconds of sitting down we were loaded into busses to head here. A police escort brought us down the roads without interruption. We sat down and waited, and got back up again seconds later. We saw the bands play and Alicia Keys sing. There were dancers and flags and colors and lights. We were in awe. We enjoyed flying through the gates at the security checkpoint and a simple wristband won us entry. And there we sat, where the field normally sits when there is no game. We had numorous pep talks with each other.

"Remember when I say bump in, small moves dude, cut is big but never jerk it. I'm gonna swing us out then do a smooth bump in till we hit, we'll take a last push, bam... lock it and run."

That was it.

That was all there was to it. We had our spot in line. We had our spot on the stage and we knew where we were going.

We knew where we were going.

I think this is a good segue to talk about a guy we know as "Cap."

Our first day there, after sitting in the stands of a small field outside of a school, utterly lost... this gentleman took the mic and began telling us a story. Well we found after a few rehearsals, that was pretty much the norm. Cap was the story teller. He was the motivator. He was the guy that has seen it all and doesn't mind sharing his experiences. His stories became richer and more involved as the weeks went on... all of us at the end of our seats knowing soon that he would bring the story home to a point that he could have made in one sentence.

"We're not worried about speed. Speed will come with practice. We just need to get good."

That was his point.

His story was about, the Banjo. He played the banjo and like most banjo players they all want to learn how to pick the banjo, real fast. That doesn't happen. If you come out fast from the beginning your gonna suck. Instead, you learn, little by little, how to play right. Then, the more you learn how to play right, the easier it will become for you. Before you know it, you'll be playing fast and good.

Don't worry about speed, just work on getting good.

The next day was about a mule and a plow.

"Don't follow the cart, know where your going, look at it, and go there."

His story involved something about following a mule's ass. Or the asses ass, however you want to chuckle about that one.

And it was this kinda stuff that made sense to us. It was easy. The banjo, the mule, his dozen other stories that he probably has told the 7 other years he's done the Super Bowl, and he'll probably tell them again. They made a big, intimidating thing, simple and fun. We were pumped up by him. We were all inspired by him. And while every now and then he needed to give us a little verbal kick in the butt... that only made us want to work harder. And it wasn't like the guy shouted at us or anything.

He was our leader, our inspiration. His real job? No idea. He seemed to have his hands in everything that had to do with the halftime show, but nothing that really gave him an official title. Was he just a boss? Was he a producer? A manager? He introduced himself as the top, the guy that oversees everything... as in, the owner of White Cherry Entertainment? I never really figured it out.

But you know what? It didn't matter. Whatever his job, he seemed to be good at it... and he made us ready.

To be continued...

Lay on Floor, Stare at Ceiling.

I never finished this post, but since I started a new one, wanted to get the old one out, even if its half-done. Enjoy what I almost wrote:

This is a cool picture. Pretty much the all encompassing picture of 5 different personalities, but yet look at us... closely knit as if there's something that bonds us beyond our knowledge. All of us feeding off of each other over and over, back and forth. Call me crazy, but I think its fair to say that I have 4 best friends pictured here, all for completely different reasons.

For starters, peace sign guy #1 with the glasses is Adrian, better known as DJ Adrian these days at the Sandbar in Scottsdale. As "Gangsta" as he may act in front of the candid camera, AD is your general nice guy. His personality starts and ends with putting others first, with somewhere in there a 'maybe he'll treat himself to a nice car or something' when he has the time. Personally, I think his talents go far beyond a simple DJ, ever proving to me my theory that a DJ is in more ways an Artist than anything else. His creativity and drive for a challenge rubs off on me, such as wanting to paint a huge AZ Cardinal logo on a cornhole boards, instead of just some simple stripes. We did the Cardinal Logo - the boards look fuckin awesome. We had to be up until 5am finishing them - but there he was, in my dining room, all the way till the end touching up the black. He's quick to bust balls, but can take it just as well when it's dished out to him.

Peace sign guy #2 is my Brother, Brian. This picture perfectly describes his personality in one look. A picture really is worth a thousand words. His peace sign is high up, his funny face trying to look badass. This man is always the center of attention, but does it with style. He doesn't try to be cool or trendy, he makes his own cool and his own trend with the way he presents himself. Full of confidence, book smart and successful. And perhaps its our contrasting attitudes that bond us, in that he's much more of a go-getter than I, and I am more of a dreamer of the bigger things than he. But thats not a knock to him - again, thats the reason we bond so well as brothers, he inspires me to push myself, I inspire him to always think of bigger possibilities. On top of all that he's extremely generous - but his generosity is only a small portion of why I value his friendship so much.

The girl with the santa hat is my girlfriend, Alex. I don't think you've seen her before unless you've been on myspace. She's the absolute cliche' yin to my yang. She's the person that supports me the most when all is said and done. She tells me she's proud of me, but continues to drive me further... not to settle or relax, but to plan and execute... but she would love me just the same if I was the same J ten years from now. She's always there for me when I need it the most. She has her own stuff, her own life, her own hopes and dreams much like myself... but she's happy to share it with me with little expectation in exchange. We're a good team, and I could go on for hours why. Hence the reason she's my girlfriend.

The guy with the big head and goatee is me. I have hat-hair.

Then there's Jess. You all know Jess. Pretty much a sister to me, daughter to my parents, more of a family member than cousins these days... considering I don't even know any of my cousins. Her charming, straight forward, but caring personalily is a perfect mesh with ours. She's the sounding board that's there to lend an ear for me to talk away to. And we do. We don't talk very often... but when sitting down with a beer and some fries - it's hours of talking, advice giving, brainstorming. She was the first person to know that I wanted to go into a sound career. She was the first person to know I wanted to become a DJ. She gets updated on all the big stuff. She doesn't sweat the details. Perhaps its a compliment to her to say that she inspires me to relax a little bit - that while my Brother can't sit down for a minute - she's the slow and steady route taker. In the end she always wins.

Now this post isn't simply just a list of compliments to my four best friends. I'm sure you have your own best friends and you have your reasons for that. Its a good possibilty you don't care about my best friends. I'm sure at this point you'd say - I know four people just like the four people you described.

Good.

But I think the point here is, while all of my friends share a different role in my life - they are all equally important to me. They all inspire me in a different way. And while I preach to you sometimes that I am the one that wants to be the inspiration, my point is that now you know where I get my ispiration from. My heroes are my closest friends.

That day was fun, the 5 of us along with the rest of the "For the Birds Tailgate Crew" were big stars that day. Adrian brought his DJ gear, we fried a Turkey, I made badass mashed potatoes... it was amazing. We unveiled the new cornhole boards which everyone couldn't believe their eyes when they saw what Adrian, Alex and I had done. This picture, is from the game later. We were crazy enough to make some new friends - including the guy from shotsofu.com, where this picture is credited to.

Then came Christmas.

You know - every year I have high hopes for Christmas, every year I feel like I'm disappointing. I want to just give and give - because I have parents and family that always hook me up, and so I always look like el-cheapo when I come out with my little gift card. I know its the thought that counts. But for instance: This year, 37 inch flat panel LCD TV. Stainless steel pro cooking set. Last Year: iPod, 8.0 Megapixel Digital SLR Camera. Two Years ago, Laptop computer. My girlfriend, this year - got me a grill! I got her a ticket to Le Reve - with me! LOL - again, this is just comparing oranges to apples, and I know its about the act of giving and sharing and its the thought that counts but... dude! Look what I have to live up to! I'm terrible at buying gifts. It's hard for me - and every year I finally come up with the perfect things, and then I run out of money... or I never have enough to begin with! I keep saying... one of these days I'll be able to afford some nice gifts - whens THAT?

So I always end up depressed every year for getting all this wonderful stuff and not having anything to back it up with. And that's just it! I wish people wouldn't get me stuff! I don't ask for it - it's not like I went to my parents and said Yo I want a 37 inch flat screen, make it happen. No! We should have a shopping limit of $100 a person. Then it will be equal!

But it never is... so I am forever indebted to the people that shower me with gifts like a sweet 16 princess.