Wednesday, October 10, 2007

Collect

I call it "inspired fiction"...

And how does that make you feel? Standing there all high and dry as another person gets knocked down into the dark water... How do you think it makes us feel as you continue to throw us under the bus, being splashed by the mud for your personal gain?

And what about you? The show-off, the kiss up, the suck-ass... working for the man, no thoughts of your own just, "Yes, Ma'am," as you take another order. Wearing your trendy, expensive suits with the pink silk tie, the gold and onyx cufflinks, the brown slip-ons that you got on sale at Nordstrom Rack. As you hold your latte and the double cafe mocha hot no-whip for your boss, how does it feel that no matter how high up you get, no matter how much an image of mass-acception you are, that you will never be good enough? That you will never have your own life and make your own decisions?

Look at you, you're not out of this one - this is my time. MY TIME. You aren't fooling anyone. Can your smirk get any more annoying? As you pretend to be perfect, you still are governed by the sheep that are the majority. The ninty-nine percent. The fast paced, airplane neck pillow wearing, battery-free watch generation. Sky Mall at its best. The world is so small to you, so manageable, you're beginning to look for office space on the moon. Good riddence. The world is too small for you - more room for me to spread out and enjoy what it really has to offer. As you drive your fuel-cell hybrid, thinking that makes any difference - oil still sells my friend... you aren't changing anything, certainly not with all the flights your taking - you know how much JP8 that jet pumps out?

No, you all better just listen up. LISTEN! Not to me - who ever cared about me? Listen to the leaves... listen to the laughter - where does it come from? Where did the collection of beautiful noise come from? Where did it go? Was it replaced by engines and horns? Construction and news choppers?

The phone rings - you don't need to even look because your earpiece tells you who's calling - you say "answer" and it answers. You talk to yourself. The supermarket, the bookstore, the car - talking to yourself, and whoever sits in your ear. The world isn't too fast for you, is it? Nothing stops for you. Your enjoyment is getting the massage at the hotel spa, while talking to yourself. It's sitting at the park during your lunch hour, talking to yourself.

The world is not small. It's huge. Right now, somewhere, someone is crying. Crying because years ago they had a problem, and it has never been solved. Crying because someone died. Crying because he left. Crying because you're broke. But that someone manages. Those tears are reality - those tears are fears, hopes, pain... it's not the hotel gym or a deadline, this is real. That someone is living. Living the dream they think is a nightmare but no - I think it's a fantasy. Pain is a fantasy as that person, that one person is not the ninety-nine percent. They are the one percent. They are the ones that live outside from the trouble free easier life. They never hit in the fairway, they don't have the advantage. They are the underdogs, the ones that stand up for their rights, their dreams - even if that means they are broke, or tired. Even if it takes tears. Even if it takes pain. They can make it. When you die - will you say "Well done?"

Even when the bill collectors call are they backing down? Are they stopping? No, they are strong. They are the one percent.

It's the "B" people that do it.

The "B" people. The ones that shop at Target or Walmart. When they get coffee its a tall, not a venti - or its from the office pot o' shit. And they're happy to have it. They don't take advantage of it.

The "B" people are the artists. The artists that the "A" people look at, listen to, steal from. The "B" people are the blue collars. The dirty jobs. The leaders of themselves. The "B" people help the "A" people have a better life.

But they don't say "Yes Ma'am" because they want to kiss ass, they say it because they have bills to pay. They say it because they don't care about the man, they care about getting theirs and helping others like them getting theirs, who in turn help their kids get theirs. They won't be appreciated, they won't be recognized on the news. They'll be looked at as weird, as geeks, dorks, crazies. I see them as geniuses. I see them as the people that think "outside the box."

Outside the box... fuck you.

That phrase was created by the "A" people's bosses because no one has a brain anymore. No one knows how to think for themselves and say "Wait, this doesn't fucking work."

They just say "Yes, Ma'am."

There should have never BEEN a BOX.

But its all good. The "B" people know how to handle it. They will speak but will never be heard. They will warn but they will never be taken seriously. They will hope, and that's all they'll ever have... hopes.

Time to collect on those hopes. Dreams. Ever wonder why you have to pay more when your credit sucks? Yeah cause that's helpful. If you couldn't afford to pay it now, you're going to make it harder? Neat.

Hope your pink tie chokes you just enough to make you appreciate the day you almost died.

Hope your lips get off the ass long enough to taste some pain.

Hope the bus you threw him under splashes mud in your face.

Because it's kind of like kharma for the masses. Here's your first warning.

Friday, October 05, 2007

Ode to Blue

Change happens. It happens to the best of us, the worst of us. Fact is, no one really likes change - comfort is part security - knowing it will never change always gives us that security.

But change... it happens. All the time - each of us everyday - change for the better or worse. It happens.

About 5 years ago... a lot of change happened. Me and my friends had been frequenting this place called King Tut's in Tempe... a hookah bar with good hummus and comfy places to sit. We went there all the time. I had a crush on the girl, Caitlin - everyone knew that. But we all we friends and it was no biggy.

Anyway, so about 5 years ago - I was introduced to this place, Jamaican Blue Coffee House. I decided to invite my crush to go check it out.

That was it. We sat in the corner at the comfy couches and we talked for hours. About anything... everything - a triple white mocha iced in her hands - I think me with a frozen mocha... it took a couple months before I converted to straight coffee.

After that more friends joined, Bill, Kaisa (sp?) - even David every now and then would join in and hang with us... the idea still the same... conversation. Some of the best thoughts and ideas came out of that place... some of the best talking.

But then it changed. Serena joined the group, Kaisa left... Bill and I were no longer in good terms... I moved on from Caitlin. The paint changed from classic murals on the wall to a contemporary blue and white. When we met - the ideas were still the same though... that didn't change... conversation, talking.

Then it changed again. The walls repainted a flat color now and art hung on the walls. We stopped coming as groups and I just came and sat with my laptop by myself, working on my website and my blogs, typing to friends on the East Coast and sometimes people right down the street. I would see the same people every time... the tall guy with long hair, the chick with glasses that was friends with that one guys girlfriend, that dude that sat in the corner with his laptop with all kinds of stickers on it.... Paulie, Ben... that other guy, Pete? Was it? Every time the same people. That guy with the awesome bike with the spikes all over it... the chick in the really nice car. I wonder if they ever said to themselves... I always see that guy in here with his laptop and his way-to-big headphones... I never knew any of them even though I've probably seen them a hundred times and walked past them a hundred times or even bumped into them once or twice, a polite "Hello..." Hello familiar face...

I would love to look up from my laptop after two large coffees and a dozen cigarettes... I see the people just like I was... talking, conversing. About anything, everything.

It changed again... this time a patio added to aid the smokers, a new bar counter top... nothing is blue at all anymore but art still hangs on the walls. It started looking more like a trendy, contemporary wine and beer bar than the artsy, counter-culture coffee shop it once was. But the people... the people were still there - and they never stopped talking. Now sitting outside at the picnic tables they sat in large groups, talking, smoking - drinking beer or coffee. I would watch from a distance when I looked up from my laptop.

I wonder if anyone asked - I wonder what that guy is listening too as he bobs his head to a mysterious beat.

Groove Salad Ambient Radio from Soma.fm - Winamp Radio. Now you know.

And I was working on my website - 4 different times. Graphics, Flash animation, page design... in case you ever wondered about that too.

Because now - we reflect on the places that defined us. The places that made us human, that made us relax. The place we would go to sit alone in the corner and collect thoughts. The place we would go before hitting the clubs or come to after just leaving the clubs. A place to go show off all dressed to the nine before a birthday celebration. A place for the first beer or a wake up coffee. A place for hot mocha's on the go for a quiet art walk. A place to watch the Suns take it to the playoffs, or watch the captions of the "adult swim" on cartoon network. The place were the lights dimmed at 8, when Paul or Ben or whoever else walked in, the rock music got a little bit louder, the regulars shuffling in. The place where the tip jar always had a different funny saying like "Support starving college students."

Now we reflect on the place where you would go to make up a friendship after a couple weeks or months of not talking, or to rekindle new hopes or new ideas. To take a first date - or a tenth date. We reflect on the many times the face of the place changed - but the faces within it never did.

We were comfortable. We were secure. No matter how many changes the place they call Jamaican Blue Coffee House had... we, the people within it, would never change.

Now The Blue is closing. As of October 8th the place I have been going, we have been going for the past however many years, will be closing. The regulars can't keep it alive single handily - what it needed was new people like me, craving a new place to sit down and just... talk. Friends, family... people that love you, people you love.

Do you know what therapists were back in the day? Friends, Family... people that love you, people you love.

So, here's to the people I know but have never met. Here's to the large black house coffee or the occasional Bud Light. Here's to the friends that have joined me in my conversations over the years. Here's to the one place in a world of detachment that helped us remember the once forgotten art... of talking.

Here's to Jamaican Blue Coffee House, the Blue Bar, JBlue... it's been a good run.