Rebirth

I can't believe almost an entire year has gone by - and so many months have passed that I have not written... "what happened to the 4-5 posts a month?" You may say...

Well I felt bad...

Ultimately its because I really have to publicly eat my words from my last post. Let's just say - I was down on my self, I had to justify an awful lot, and... well I take it back. I love her, what can I say? I've been obsessed with her since first kissing her pretzel-crammed mouth at a Dave Matthews Band concert last August. I guess I wasn't ready for the land of compromise.

Well with that out of the way, let's move on.

Alternate Titles for Today are: "What House Means," "No I'm not Busy," "Viva Las Moving Van," and my favorite... "Grower, not a Show-er."

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So it was short-lived. My single opportunity to spin my house records to a public audience has gone back to zero. Kind of shitty too how they went about it. They didn't. I had to ask three times and the night of, they said "oh yeah, no we went back to Hip Hop... thanks for playing."

Hip Hop. My love/hate. It's not what I DJ. I CAN DJ Hip Hop, I just choose NOT to. I'm not saying I can DJ it well, but I can DJ it - it does have a beat after all.

I chose a genre that isn't Bling Bling, that isn't Fer Shizzle, that isn't over-commercialized, and in the middle of a inner-genre wargame. Its always about the big money and the cars or the women that they treat like shit or how great they are at basketball. Do I sound like an old white boy? Even the respectful artists, that write deep-poetic lyrics in their music, usually end up gunned down, or in trouble with the law... or they sell out to make the records sell.

But I love it, because for some reason, Hip Hop's broken - over popular and culturally rebellious - beats make 99% of all dancefloors move.

So it's my Love/Hate. I hate it because it's what I would HAVE to play if I ever wanted a top-flight DJ job here in the US. I hate it because as much as I try to convince people, it is the most popular thing out there. I love it, because it gets me dancing, too. It's as catchy as a jingle.

But I didn't CHOOSE Hip Hop because there's something about EM that Hip Hop will never have - the power to take people somewhere.

When I DJ - I like to take people to a place - start them out slow and work them into a groove, give them changes and broken beats, give them something to think about. I throw in songs they may know, songs they may have heard before - then I take them higher... I push the beat harder and harder - that powerful four on the floor that the typical club goers all think of as "annoying"

But spend an hour or two with me, and I'll take you somewhere. Call me the bus driver.

House is not over commercialized. It's not bling bling - but flashy - the lights and colors... the feel of the strobes... the heat of the speakers. House is sweat. House is the deep, dark dancehalls, that's not about flossin' - it's about... joy, sex, life.

With that I would like to introduce TWO new mixes, together they will be called:

Joy. Sex. Life. - Volumes 1 and 2

Look for them next week on www.djjphoenix.com - and maybe I'll get back into a club sometime soon to play for everyone live.

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Some more things going on this week, an update for my website is long overdue. So I will also be spending long hours at the Blue getting that changed with the times.

What if I didn't live in Phoenix? Would I still call myself J* Phoenix? Or would I become J*Long Beach? Or J* Columbus?

No.

Phoenix is not a place, it's a mythological bird. It just so happens that I also LIVE... in Phoenix.

So I'm going to gear the new site to helping people understand what I mean by that - why I picked the Phoenix to represent what I stand for, where I came from. I think it's important to know that - religion has always been a tabled issue for me. While the Phoenix bird is religious in nature - I am not pressing religion on to anyone. I myself, am a little "anti-religion" in many ways. I was taught at a young age that I am allowed to have my own beliefs - and while I went through the Sunday Schools and the first communions and so on, I've always questioned even my own beliefs. So don't worry - I won't force my lack of religion on you if you don't on me.

Besides - I believe that everyone is allowed to believe whatever the hell they want. And we can argue all day about it if you want to... I can go all day!

I made myself a promise at the beginning of the year - a New Year's Resolution... to create at least one song by the end of the year, and produce it to the public. One song is a start - and it's the bar that I set to allow me to raise as I go along. Next year I hope to make a whole album, but let's not get ahead of ourselves. =)

So I got myself some production software, hooked up a MIDI keyboard, and started banging out some notes. Am I sure I know what I want? No... all I know is that everyday at least once a song pops in my head as if I'm listening to the radio, and I've never heard the song before. My goal is to take that and put it down onto a real track.

So you'll be able to get a taste of my efforts - just a taste - next week when I update my website.

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Been doing a little bit of travelling, which is nice because I've been wanting to take some vacation - and if I have to work to get my vacation, I will! Call me "Odd Job" or "Random Task" depending on what movie reference you prefer, September was my month to lend a helping hand. And I must say - I've been thanked immensely by the two people that I've helped.

First it was off to Chicago - only for a couple hours - so I could scoop up my pal Jessica and help her move back home to Phoenix. I say "home" because most of her family is here - I'm sorry - that's always home. A three day trip across the length of the USA proved to be quite fun, me driving a big truck and Jessica with her two cats trailing behind with only walkie-talkies. She thanked me by buying - almost everything except for my general snacks and expenses. Food, Lodging, gas... I still wish somehow I could do more for her. We had a ton of fun though.

Then it was off to Las Vegas, this time I was the one trailing the truck as my brother started off a new endeavor and a new job in the Sin-City. Temptation is high but the benefits are sweet, we found that out after a decent hour of Blackjack - Brian winning a nice hunk of dough to basically pay for the night out. I finally got my Vegas weekend with my bro... I had to work a little for it - but it was more than worth it, my brother definitely hooked me up!

Now it's back to life - and damn its been a tough couple days. Work has been stressful - but not stressful because I'm busy - actually its stressful for just the opposite. I'm slow. And being slow - I lose focus - so I make mistakes. Not good, I hate making mistakes. I always feel so bad when I screw up and my team is not very forgiving. I'm the lowest of the totem pole so hey - they can always blame ol' J when they want to make themselves look better.

That's not fair - but it brings a point to mind - where are they when I do anything good? When I jump in and help them out when they need it the most? Where are they when I make them look good by covering their tails? When they make mistakes and I'm the one to catch it - where's the "J - thanks for whatever...?"

So maybe its not fair to say that they are just trying to find someone to blame and that's me - but maybe it is fair that they're being awfully nit-picky to someone who is always there to help. Sure I make mistakes... it is so much to perhaps giving me a break and saying - "hey - you've bailed me out X times - as long as you fix it I'll scratch your back for you."

Come to think of it - even if I ran the place I probably wouldn't get the respect I feel I deserve.

So how do I get it? I don't ask for it - I don't ask for recognition or show off or tell people how great I am - I just DO stuff. I just do it. Sure I make the occasional mistake but ultimately - I work my tail off and by the end of the day my eyes hurt, my ass hurts, my legs hurt - my brain hurts... is there anyone that says - hey, thanks for sticking your neck out there and taking that shitty phone call. Or - Hey, I appreciate you rushing to get that done by the end of the day - we'll just let that other thing slide... thanks for doing me a solid.

Nothing.

I get - Justin didn't note this or Justin didn't follow up with that. Justin didn't mark this off on the form and Justin didn't do that fast enough.

Thanks folks - I love ya'll too.

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I think that's it for me - enough complaining and such - just wanted to say Hi and let you know what was coming up.

Until next time...

Have a day.