What Ed Said

It's funny, because if you aren't careful, someone you may not even know can change your life in an hour or two, if you let them.

I come to you all, late at night, after coming home early from the bars because my brother wanted to crash. I was his DD... seeing that I haven't drank in almost two months now, I tend to be DD - all the time.

I met him out at Sugar Daddy's... a local smash hit with people that know better about clubs these days. A low-key, simple spot with a lot of room, and plenty of fun. They have great food, great music... it's pretty much your all-encompassing good time.

If you drink.

But I don't right now... so having a good time becomes a tad harder to do.

So after just sitting there while my brother chatted up with all of his co-workers... I decided to try to become a part of the conversation.

This is when Brian introduced me to Ed. Ed is a film director. He's not, however - a successful film director... yet. By the end of the night, though, I found that he will be one day.

But that's not the important part. A conversation took off out of thin air that turned into a discussion... that then progressed quickly into a deep, thought out debate and continued to grow from there. To finally, the resolution of the whole night that became what is and what will be a conversation I will never forget.

It's time to jump.

Feel free to go ahead and be cynical. This blog will not be for everyone... in fact... it's only for those that are willing to listen - with an open mind and have a little optimism.

I want you to ask yourself four questions:

1. What do I do?
2. How did I get here?
3. Do I like it?
4. What would I have done different, given the chance again.

We have found, that in this world there is what 99% of the people in this world do... and then there's the 1%, who know what everyone else is doing, and guide them to do it every day. These few select people are the people we trust and go to, all the time... for guidance, for direction, for knowledge, for hope. These people are your teachers, and your artists, and your inspiration. While they all have similar responsibilities... we're going to talk tonight, about art, and the artist.

First let's think INSIDE the "box." The box is the place where we live, work, play... every day... our same measly lives that is a part of a whole unit, a workplace, a common goal between all of us. We are taught by the people that are at the top of our lives, that we need to think "outside the box." Why? Because we have to... without stepping outside of the flock, you will always go with the flow and nothing new will happen.

Ever.

But, since we're in the box... let's focus on that for right now.

Everyday, we, as a nation... a globe. We get up and we do the things we HAVE to do. The things we must do because we are told they are right. We are told they are the way we must act, live, and dream. We wake up, convince ourselves that this is how it works, we make our beds, drive to work, practically KILL ourselves... go home, make dinner, go to bed. Some people also occasionally go out to a bar, they go out to eat... but that's all still just... normal. You're supposed to do all that.

That's what's in the box... normalcy. The everyday thing we know how to do.

In the box there's a lot of things... things to do and see... there's ads in newspapers and on TV and radio, billboard signs. Things that are making you think... that are SUGGESTING to your subconscious about what choices you should make when you feel a certain way, when you require a certain item.

All included in your very own box.

When you realize how MUCH of it there is... you're on your first step to stepping out of the box.

That's when magic happens. That's when all of a sudden things become very clear about what you believe in, what you care about, and what you want. All of a sudden, you're no longer hanging with the pack... no... now you're an individual. You're different. You don't see life just like anyone else's... you see your life as your own, and you may start seeing how you can make it BE your own.

OK, that was a whole lot of rambling... so let's get back on subject.

Maybe we'll talk a little bit about my story, and how it relates to Ed's story.

For a while, I knew that I loved music. I knew that somehow I wanted it to be a part of my life, but wasn't sure how to go about it - certainly wasn't sure if I could actually DO it. So, almost like nature intended, I joined the 99% and got a few jobs, simply dreaming of what I could be.

Slowly but surely, however - my dreams began driving me to ask questions...

What am I doing?
Why am I here?
Do I like what I'm doing?
What should I be doing different?

Then it hit me - I was trapped. Trapped in a job behind a desk, relying on each paycheck, hoping the day would come something will just fall in my lap that will allow me to just go.

Yeah, right.

My interest from music began to grow; theater and production, as well. It wasn't until a faithful day, a Tuesday, that I won tickets to go see some DJ in concert. By this time I had already entertained the idea of becoming a DJ, but I convinced myself that there was no way in to the business. That was, until I won those tickets.

I stood there in the office of Energy 92.7/101.1, waiting for my winnings. To the side, I noticed something, an ad, for a Disc Jockey 101 course at Scottsdale Community College.

DJ 101?

It took me a while... I did a lot of thinking that night holding that card in my hand. I stared at it and read the outline over and over again. I talked to my brother about, a couple friends about it... they weren't any help. Then I took a look at my life... music... technology... I so loved watching the DJ in action... could it be? Could it... YES! YES THAT'S IT!!

I was going to become a DJ, because it's what I want to do.

This is what Ed called the "epiphany stage." When you all of a sudden realize that yes, this is what you want to do, and you will stop at nothing to do it. It was like everything cleared right up. No more questions. No more quests. I knew what I was supposed to do.

The very next day I signed up for that class.

I signed up for that class, and about two months later, I began working for SKM Entertainment.

*************

When looking back on that moment, I was so... READY. I was way ahead of myself and I realized recently that things take longer than we want them to. Things take time, and this road is hard, it's windy, it's narrow at points... we have to trek down them carefully.

But this conversation with Ed couldn't have come at a better time. He was spot-on about EVERYTHING I was going through... and he reassured me that I was heading in the right direction. That I'll know when it's time to jump, but I will have to jump, in order to go anywhere.
I haven't jumped yet. Not ready to. It is time, the time in my life that I need to take that jump... but I need to be secure. Not secure that when I jump that I'll land safely on the bottom, no, secure that I'm ready to jump. Tonight was pretty convincing, however, that I'm getting close to that point.

We'll talk about the jumping analogy in a minute.

It's about sacrifice. Are we, as artists, willing to sacrifice our lives for humanity? That's what we do, right? It's not about the money with me - shit DJ's don't make any - I LOVE bringing people joy, LOVE it. Not just on a personal level - I have close friends for that. I'm talking about a broad level, a massive level, knowing I'm connecting some how with thousands or even millions of people... bringing them joy... wow. What a feeling.

The Dave Matthews Concert this year. Amazing. The awesome effects that Dave has on me - you don't realize that others share that same feeling with you sometimes. That's because they don't want you to feel that, yet. Take a look around a concert as big as that... you'll start noticing how they create this world for you... it's amazing. It starts with the lights, the lights are off, and naturally our eyes will focus on where the light is. So we focus on what is happening on the stage. The band has the ability to capture us, with its lights and sound, it captures us and puts us in a little bit of a trance. You all of a sudden become an individual.. the people you came with, the things happening, people around you... they all go away, and it's just you, and the band.

They have you hangin by a thread. It doesn't matter by this point what Dave says up there, every time he opens his mouth people will cheer their hearts out. They will cheer at every violin solo from Boyd Tinsley, every sax riff from LeRoy Moore. They cheer because they are captured. You are an individual.

You are no longer in the box.

Until, at one point in the concert, that peak moment when everyone is as joyful as they can be - the lights come on, the lights flash from the stage to everyone else... all of a sudden - you aren't alone - but now you're with 40,000 of your closest friends. This... this is an awesome feeling. No one, is in the box.

That's what I want. I want that. I want people to be captured, entranced. I want people to cheer their hearts out and find their individuality. I want people to be happy, happy because of me.

Why does Dave have it and I don't? They've figured it out. They know what it takes.

We are all bound by one thing. One thing makes us one person...

What gets us dancing, huh? What keeps us moving? It's the beat. Dave has figured that out. Carter Beauford is an absolute genius behind the drums. Why is the beat so important?

Because we all have one... our hearts.

Sometimes the beat is slower, more flowing, relaxed... sometimes the beat is higher, more energized. It's up to the band to find out where our natural beat is, and capitalize on it.

********

As you can clearly see, there was a lot to this conversation. We went in depth about everything. Two hours worth... went by in a flash. It sounds kinda random and all over the place I'm sure... eh... it happens.

But one part stood out for me, and I'm going to tell Ed's story, the analogy of the transition between doing what you have to do and doing what you really want to do...

Picture yourself standing on a cliff. Behind you, are 100 people telling you, "Don't look over that cliff, that's bad don't look over there."

But you look... if you're asking yourselves the right questions, oh hell yeah you'll look. You want to know what's down there. You almost have to know whats down there. It seems so far, why would anyone jump? We're perfectly safe up here on the cliff, no one gets hurt, we live on... the 100 people agree.

But then there's that one person, that person either inside of you or close to you... that one that says... "why the fuck wouldn't you jump? What if you never knew what was down there and you miss out on a whole new amazing life?"

Good advice.

Some people will look over that ledge all their lives and never jump, some take years before they jump... the smart people... they jump now.

So, leaving that 100 people behind you take a deep breath, spread your arms to the sky and leap your hardest off the cliff.

And you fall.

And you fall.

And you FALL.

AND YOU FALL!

You fall and continue to fall... the whole time falling you wonder... oh shit - did I make a mistake?

Then boom... you hit the water in the river below... but you don't know how to swim yet.

But you learn. This is what you wanted to you better damn well learn how to at least tread water. So you kick your legs and flap your arms and you can see the light and the break in the water... you reach the top.... WHOOOSH... a huge breath pours in and you made it. Your head is above water. You want to scream back at the 100 people now looking at you and laughing... you want to tell them that you made it, that you're still alive...

But they can't hear you. Good riddance.

The river begins to take you. It's tough at first because you're just learning to swim. The river is windy and rapid... increasing in speed and throwing new challenges at you along the way. But you want this... you took the jump so you learn. You deal with it.

So you continue on, the water getting faster, things more intense until... a water fall...

You fly down the waterfall, certain that this will be your demise... which sucks because you were getting so good at it. You fall and fall some more and then you hit the water below...

This is it... the final test. If you survive you have made it. You have reached the place where you want to be. If you don't... you will die. So you withstand the beating of the waterfall above you. You swim beyond the falling tides and you find yourself in calmer waters... so, you look up, take a deep breath... and what you see before you?

The Ocean. And its wide open for your taking. Nicely done, baby.

You look back, you can't even see those 100 people from before. You're on to new adventures and there's people along the way that will be there for you. Nicely done, baby.

You've made it.

*******

So to sum everything up. It's become very clear to me what I want. I want it all. I want the whole deal, and very soon... very soon I'm gonna take the jump. Make the plunge.

I told ya all it took was some inspiration....

See you in the ocean,
J*