Just Us

This was written last week but never posted.... and... never finished... and... I couldn't come up with anything creative or meaningful to start it off either...

*******************

I cracked my eyes open at 10:30, someone's phone was ringing...

Egle got up and declined the call... must... get... sleep....

I cracked them again, 11:30... Megan was caughing. She got up to get some water, I look over and Egle wakes up too. Looking at me, "OK, I'm up." I roll over, "Me too."

I turn on my laptop as I see Megan wander back to the bed. She had been up all morning caughing. I checked the email, the myspace... nothing new. Egle is hungry so she heads for the Cheez-its. I started writing a blog about the week so far. "What are you doing?" She asked me.
"Talking about you." I said, jokingly.
"Oo I wanna see!" She's nosey. I start typing some more as she leans on my shoulder and reads. I talked about how I was in disbelief that she was actually there, with me, standing there behind me... and stuffing Cheez-its in my face.

It was just us again. Something tells me that I wouldn't ever get tired of that. We had a good laugh and Egle continued to shove Cheez-its into my face... I didn't get very far on my blog post. It was time to fight.

Megan was up by this point, and she witnessed Egle and I pushing and shoving eachother around, laughing, making a ruckus. I played dirty and tickled her until submission. We laid there, tired, out of breath, finally a release of aggresion.

We decided to get ready, and I was going to teach Egle some blackjack. We showered, dressed, Megan went back to sleep.

I could tell that Egle was a little nervous. I filled her head with tips, and let her know just to bring what she was OK with parting from. We found a $3 table, and sat. Wouldn't you know it? Egle won some cash. I did, too, but that was a given by now since Egle was sitting next to me. What a perfect start.

We had shit to do. Megan found us and it was time to go. Another treat courtesy of Mr. Justin the Great, tickets to Zumanity by Cirque du Soleil. I had bought them the day before, after searching endlessly for the right show, Zumanity was all that was decent, that was available. I didn't want to tell the girls how much I had spent on them. I would have done it all over again, too.

We rushed over to New York, New York - I was in quite the hurry and a little paniced because we had to get there to pick up the tickets. Upon arrival, I hurried over to the box office to get them... now I can relax.

We ate, then stood in line for the show. Egle grilled me some more... she wanted to know how much I paid for these. I didn't want to tell her. I told her they were enough, but that it shouldn't matter because I wanted them to experience it. I wanted them to have fun.

But I broke down and told them... $266.00. I broke it down to about $90 a piece, so maybe they would just give up there and not do the math... yeah right. Egle just looked at me, her eyes with disbelief.

It really wasn't much for me, I mean I make a lot of money and I saved up to have this trip, not to mention that I loved having someone that I could spoil rotten. This time I had two people I could spoil rotten. I liked it. I couldn't stress to them enough that I didn't want them pinching pennies all week, that I wanted them to enjoy themselves. I would have bought 4 tickets had Amie been with us, 6 if Adrian and Juan were with us too. The point is that I don't care about the money, I can make more - I cared about them, my friends... Egle being happy.

Zumanity rocks. Very sexual in a new twist to the common circus. Most of the actors were half naked or... mostly naked when doing their tricks, all relating somehow to love, and lust. All kinds, every fetish and fantasy were represented. With tricks and talent and comedy all mixed in. It was a rush. They don't hold anything back, the show is for guests 18 and over and because of that they didn't care what came out of their mouths. From the Transvestite MC to the weird dark guy that walks around staring at people, to the little person dancing with the full sized blonde, to the two very large twin ladies that walked inbetween the isles. Megan separated Egle and I... which was probably a good thing - the show can get people a little... wound up.

They loved it. A perfect start to a great night out - the last night out in Vegas.

We had a couple more errands to run. Egle wanted to see the water show at the Bellagio, we saw it. She wanted to see the Venetian, we saw it. We actually walked through the Venetian the morning of our arrival, but I forgot to say that yesterday. Then she had another special request... her friend wanted a dollar chip from the Wynn Resort... this could be a little bit of a challenge.

In order to get chips, you have to sit at a table and change out cash for chips. Then you have to play at least one hand. At the Wynn, the lowest table is $15 minimum. I'm thinkin, $15 may not be enough because I may lose, it would have to be $30, then $30 doesn't really look all that great, so to fit in at least a LITTLE bit, I went in with $60.

My highest cash-in yet. The men sitting at both sides of me had nice sized piles of $100 chips... I had a little pile of $5 chips.

Needless to say I was a little nervous. A grabbed Egle by the arm and pulled her close, I was gonna need her this time for real. Megan walked away to get some ice cream. I played the first hand, win. I broke down a 5 into dollars and gave a dollar chip to Egle. Second hand, double down, win. Egle scratched my back... Third hand, win... fourth hand, win. Fifth hand, double down, win. I started handing Egle chips, first my original $60 worth, then $25, then another $25. My pile was growing, the gentlemen next to me liked me, gave me tips, we all won together. Then another $25... leaving still $39 in my hand. One more bet... loss.

I just won $100 in one sitting, maybe 20 minutes total. I gave the dollar to Egle, $99, gave the dealer $9, so I walked with $90 more dollars in my hand. My heart was pounding. I was a big winner in my own mind. I was beaming... I gave Egle a big hug and a kiss on the cheek.

The problem was they didn't enjoy my winning all TOO much, there was a little problem... their feet were KILLING them.

Mine were to, but I wasn't in heels all weekend - it was time to take a trip back to the hotel to change out of those shoes. We had a plan to head to Studio 54. Egle had heard good things about it and while I had already been there last time, it was a great time so I think it was worth a second trip. We changed, freshened up, and took off. Made new friends with people in the taxi line - including a never-will-forget-drop-dead-gorgeous Brazillian woman standing alone behind us. Ugh... too bad she wasn't going to Studio as well.

But anyway, Studio 54 it is, a short wait and we were in. Just as expected the club was packed. Egle's stomach had been bothering her so it was water for her. Megan and I went for the bar. Megan bought me drinks which ROCKED, since they were free to get in and I had to pay my $20 cover. I still bought Egle water though, heh heh. Studio was fun, we danced, we laughed... it was just the three of us.

The Unicorn

It's an old fable, the clover-hooved white horse with one spiraled horn is spotted in the forest. It's beautiful, a magestic being that represents magic, love, purity, and grace. For only a second you see it - you connect with it - it's right there in front of you. You want to touch it, but its beauty is almost too extreme, but you want to make sure its real. You reach out, hoping it will not run but as you step closer it flees.

A Unicorn is a mythical creature that is often re-named "The Unattainable Unicorn," because if its desireabilty, yet no one has ever grabbed one of their own. They often have spiritual representation, or that of purity, in that unicorns are only attracted to virgin women. Unicorns are mythical, but it relates to all of us in a way, for we all have a unicorn we've been trying to get.

The Unicorn could be a person, which it is for me, someone that I can see and believe that is there... but yet so far away that I'll never be able to have it. You search every day in the back of your mind for the Unicorn, hoping that each day you may catch a glimpse of the creature once again. Then only in an instant, it is there, your heart jumps - maybe this time? No... it's gone without a trace, fading away once again through the trees.

Why is it that we always want what we can't have? Like the Unicorn, we challenge ourselves each day to finally obtain what we were told we cannot have: Like the mythical big fish, or the riches of 1000 men, or maybe as simple as the girl of your dreams. We can't appreciate the Unicorns beauty and the moment you're blessed with its presence, but yet we are greedy and we want it all to ourselves to enjoy every day. Would we take advantage of it? What if we could just... have it... would we appreciated it at all then? Maybe if we worked really hard for it and so the reward is what you wanted, but then is it worth it?

Questions like this race through my mind all the time, wondering if I'll ever have my Unicorn... I know that if I one day finally caught my Unicorn then I would cherish it forever, knowing how much work I put in, and knowing that it could leave at any time. I wouldn't take it for granted, but yet I would appreciate every new day I got to spend with it. My Unicorn is special to me, but we all have our own Unicorn...

******************

We were up all night, walking the strip, talking, hugging, laughing, taking pitcures. Like three peas in a pod we meshed together so well - I even got along great with Megan who I have never met before.

Which got me thinking. When I lived on the East Coast, things were different for me. I felt loved. I felt as if I could make friends and be personable, and be myself - no one cared about my image or my looks or how much was in my wallet. That stuff is important to me, but never anyone else towards me. I moved here and it was like I have to prove myself to everyone else. Like I have to show everyone that I'm Mr. Justin The Great just for them to talk to me. It's "what do you drive?" and "Where do you live?" and "What do you do?" that I hear all the time. I drive a civic, I live in the ghetto, and I do paperwork all day. Now go away.

But that's the problem. It's gotten to me. The people here, they have turned me into a monster that constantly wants to impress others, that worries about looks and money. It's not cool to me. I never used to care about all that at all - I mean I cared for my sake, but never for the sake of others. I loved these two girls because they didn't care about all that, they liked me because I'm me. I made them smile, I made them feel special - that made me happy. Shit I even let them go off with some random dudes and I went home early - just because I wanted them to have a good time.

Granted, I hated letting them go cause I then had to go home alone.. but I was still happy that they were happy.

The morning came Thursday, the sun peeking through the windows at denny's and the three of us were in the booth, falling asleep in our eggs and pancakes. I had to have some coffee, I was not built to be up for this long. After I think three cups I think I conjured up enough energy to get going, time to head to the Saraha.

We were staying there Thursday and Friday night, thinking we'd be able to be up all night - yeah right. By the time the morning came, Egle and I were about to strangle eachother.

We weren't really mad at eachother, just cranky - and Megan was caught in the middle of it. I was short with her, having to walk another step further was gonna kill me.

"When you wake up you better be in a better mood." She said.
"You too!!" I snapped back.

We didn't get our hotel room until 12:30 pm. We had to nap in the car. We slept the rest of the day, I woke up at 6.

I woke up first, so I hopped in the shower and cleaned myself up, shaved, ironed, and got dressed. The girls were still asleep.
"Next!" I said, hoping they heard me and it triggered a response. I'm guessing it didn't because as I left the room they were still out cold.

I went downstairs to check out the tables at Sahara. I heard that they were good because they were only three dollar tables, great for someone who just wants to do some casual gameplay. I send Egle a text letting her know where I was, then it was off to table one.

It wasn't a good start, cashing in $40 I lost a good 10 or so pretty quick, I was down to the "reserve pile" when I decided to leave the table. I thought that maybe I should call Egle to see their status... poor girls - they were still asleep. So I finally woke their asses up and told them to get ready. I'm lovin the fact that both of them were downstairs by my side in less than an hour, that rocks in girl time.

And wouldn't you know it, Egle finds me and within minutes my luck changes, and I start making money. I walked away from the tables with $80 dollars in my hand.

"Egle as long as I am at a table, don't ever leave my side." I said to her, she agreed. She could tell she had a positive effect and, she also knew that when I win... I buy, so she had no problem being my good luck charm.

We left the tables, it was time to eat. This reminds me, twice now I've been to Vegas and I have yet to eat at any of those cheap steak/lobster places. I have to make a point to check those out soon.

I had the plan tonight to head to the Palms to check out a club I have yet to go to. Rain Las Vegas has gotten some good remarks, so I thought I would give it a look. The girls were dressed to the max and looking hot, so it was time to put on the dancing shoes.

The line at Rain was as expected, about a half hour, for a Thursday night that didn't seem all too bad. The cover was also a nice change of pace, $10 for everyone. I like when girls are free, because that means more girls will be inside - was a little nervous when I didn't see that many while waiting in line. The club is great, however - huge, wide open which makes it versitile for many different occations. I saw the sign out front that Train was there earlier in the day, by the time we got there the stage was still set up, the DJ booth set on the stage.

The club is not very visually attractive, basic walls and lights, but the dancefloor and light show were quite impressive. The two independant truses moved up and down, as well as 4 swinging trusses from the outer ring. After watching a while, I noticed the swinging trusses lock in place, and the whole outer ring moved skyward, as the center, smaller truss moved down close to the floor. Then a special treat, blasts of fire spewed from the center truss, heating up the room, and adding quite an exciting touch. That got a little old though after the 10th time that happened...

So did the fact that there were NO WOMEN in this club. There was my girls, and about 50 or 60 other women that were either taken, or ugly, or slutty and I just didn't have the game to go working those angles. Plus, I didn't have a wingman, it's hard to go as a loner in the Vegas clubs.

Especially because I knew the girls weren't much of wingmen.. they set off on their own adventures and told me to step back from being "Mr. Over-protective" Sure girls, I'll just go away and how about you let me know when I'm allowed to be around...

Ok, so I was a little over-protective, but again, I did kinda pay for their drinks, and show them around and stuff, not to mention how I considered them my responsibility... so I was a tad miffed at that one. But, it's not like I didn't see them again. Within seconds of me stepping away I saw some of the collection of 700 dudes swoop to their side. "Good luck, girls" I said.

I left the dancefloor. I went to go get a drink and relax a little, I stood by the bar and listened to the music. After a little while, I see the girls wonder back to me. This repeated several times during the night. All during the night, I was buying them shots, rounds, I was spending money on girls who were looking for other dudes.

That's exactly what they found, too. By the end of the night they had both disappeared, and I was left alone. I had caught them on the way out, 3:30 when the club closed, they were invited to a new spot. They invited me, so I said "sure."

I didn't want to go. I didn't want to go for a thousand reasons, I didn't want to step on anyone's game, didn't want to be over protective, didn't want to get in the way. But the main reason I didn't want to go, was jealousy. Like my Unicorn, so close but just unattainable. I went home alone, the taxi ride was long and lonely.

I didn't want them to feel bad for me, I wanted them to have a good time. That's what I always wanted. The money I spent, the places I took them and showed them, it was all because I wanted them to remember this trip and not help but break a smile. I wanted them to like me and remember me again, I wanted to feel loved again. I knew they appreciated me stepping aside, which is why I did it. Deep down inside though, I wanted them to just say forget it and leave with me.

More specifically, I wanted Egle to say that.

But they were gone, off with their Vegas no-names, out to enjoy themselves and I went home - still moderately content that I was a part of their happiness.

****************

6:00 am the door flies open. "Justiiiiiinnn!!" I hear from a stereo of two women at the bed. I had fallen asleep in my clothes. I felt them plop on both sides of me and hug me... my girls were back, alive, and happy. I wanted to play off like I was not loving the fact that I had two girls now cuddled up to me, both kissing me on the cheeks, but I couldn't help but smile... my girls were back and alive, and I was happy. They told me about where they went, yada yada yada, they went to Dreis which is an after hours spot in the Barbary Coast. I've heard some mixed feelings about it, but my feelings were that I didn't want to spend another $20 to get into another club to hear the same crap I just heard at the last club and still not pick up on any girls. So I was glad that I didn't go. The girls got ready for bed, another day of Vegas had come to a close.

The View from the Hill

Before I get started on the next part of last week, I wanted to get something off my chest that has gotten me down the past few days.

I have three jobs, my "day job," my DJ job, and the Army Reserves. Each of which, I seem to always have problems in. The Army is easy: I just don't feel like going. I don't feel like being a part of it, I don't like the people, I don't like the situation, I don't like any of it anymore. I'm out of shape, out of practice, and I have no desire to even try to get myself back into it - only to be shipped off to some war and die. I have too much to be alive for. I haven't been going a lot, in fact last year I think I went twice in the first two months but that was it. I went back this year, after they finally tracked me down, but that was only from pressure from my parents because they don't want me to be shipped out somewhere. I'm sure that won't happen. What will happen, is I will be given an "other than honorable discharge" which is not a dishonorable, not even a general/medical discharge. It's just... other than honorable status. Honestly? I can live with that. I can live with having to explain how I have been a second class citizen in the units I've worked for. I can live with having to explain how my brain isn't challenged, the monotonous busy work that I'm given that doesn't even relate to what I was trained for... or perhaps its the whole weekend of sitting around doing nothing - whether I get paid or not - what's the point in even going? I can explain to future employers, that the unit for 9 months didn't know I even existed, that I was just a random name in a pile that I haven't checked off yet. That I had no schedule, no contact phone numbers, no personnel to find that could get me connected to the unit. Even once they tracked me down, it came by certified mail, forwarded twice from an address that was two addresses ago, and it still had no phone number. I had to send a random email out to a commander I didn't even know was my commander or not. I can explain all that. The reserves are easy.

In my DJ job, I'm good at what I do. I'm good on a microphone, I'm not scared to get out there and be animated and be a dork and be a fun person. I'm good behind the decks, with music selection and all the things that go with it. I'm good at talking to people, making them feel comfortable... I'm even good at dealing with DJs that assist me that suck. What I'm not good at, is the behind the scenes, calling the brides on time, confirming events on time, and handing in paperwork on time. That stuff I'm not so good at. So I can understand why they may be a little upset because I'm not making their life easy.
- - But I don't want to really BE a wedding MC. I LOVE being an MC, don't get me wrong. I love being the face and voice of a beautiful evening celebrating two people finding love in marraige. It's wonderful. I love creating a party. I love music - but being an MC for this company, includes things that are a lot different and above and beyond the standards. It looks great on the company - the company is awesome because we offer so much, worry free service with all the bells and whistles - but that's also the part that I'm the worst at. And while I know I need to get better - whatever happened to starting a career in the club circuits? The music production? THATs what I want to do... I'm not made for the wedding business yet. Hell, I can't even keep a girlfriend, let alone a wife - how am I supposed to know what marraige is all about?

I want to move on from that. Not leave it, just move on from it. I want to DJ... that's what I'm best at. I want to do things that I'm the best at. So I think I'm going to talk to them about going back to being a DJ, and working as that - then trying to take on some gigs at clubs.

That'll keep the money coming in. I need to make enough to make one more move...

My day job, the 9-5, has always been a problem. The problem is me, it's not the company or the management or anything like that, and I'm not just saying that just in case someone reads this. Once I would fix one thing, there'd be something else of equal (but normally small) importance to my career. First it was not finishing things on time. Now it's being late to work.

Now I am by no means saying that I'm late chronically. I am late once or twice in a while like everyone else. It's either because I slept late, traffic, or whatever other reason that may be. I had a bad year last year, and that has placed me on written warning. What that means is now, if I get in trouble one more time - well I can pretty much kiss my job goodbye. Great. Just what I want.

So I was late this morning. A car accident two miles from my office locked up the road I was on. Now I'm in trouble, and I hate it when I'm in trouble. On my way in, thinking instead of coming up than going back down, it would be best to grab some breakfast first. I always get breakfast, everyday I do. It's a service that the company offers to their employees, that we pay for, but it available to us if we would like it. I got in trouble for that too.

Now I'm being held to the fire for everything I do. Why do I even work there? It's almost like they are just holding a gun to my head saying "give me a reason..."

So that's my beef of the week. I NEED TO GET OUTTA HERE!! Out of my parent's house, out into the world into the career I want, out of this town, out of this state. I gotta grow up and move on and move up. I need to make money, lots of it - so one day I can shower myself and some sweetheart girl of my dreams with lots of whatever we want. I don't care about being a superstar - it would be nice - but I care more about not having to worry. Being happy. Falling in love. Having companionship, friendship, family, a dozen kids and a healthy retirement. That's what I want and I will stop at nothing to get it.

Ok maybe I don't want a dozen kids... two would be nice though.

I will move on from this subject now.

*********************************

Wednesday.

I had only 4 hours of sleep, I was kinda grumpy so when we got home Tuesday night I don't think I even said goodnight. I was even grumpier cause I was used to Egle at least opening the door to say goodnight to me, but that didn't happen either, so I went to sleep. I normally have dreamless sleeps, at least, I never seem to be able to remember what I dream about at night. I sleep like a rock, most of the time - mainly because my body just shuts down for being up so late. The sleep from Tuesday to Wednesday was restless.

I couldn't get comfortable. I rolled around and sat up and laid back down... I couldn't tell you what was wrong with me. I needed to sleep. I was about to drive 7 hours to Las Vegas with the girls and I needed to be rested. Finally after an hour of shifting, I finally got to sleep... and I had a dream.

Dreams that I normally remember are stories, quickly flashing storylines of bits and pieces, as if you were dozing off to a movie and missing some parts. I also have a reaccurring dream about once a year, almost like clock work, that I've had since I could remember anything at all.

The dream is easy to follow, it starts off with a hallway, then there are faces, some I know... some I have yet to see. Some of these faces are talking to me but I can't hear what they are saying... and I can't seem to talk back to them. Then I come into a clearing, space and time mix together and I can see my own world. I can see myself walking, with things that have happened to me behind me as I walk, flying past me at light speed. They flash at me like neon signs, they last only an instant but I can see each one - only because I'm so familiar with it. The scenes I see are of my life, or just of the current day... or of things that I don't remember... things that I might not have experienced yet. Then in front of me I can see a figure. A person, on a pedastal it seems, but I can't see who they are. There's no face - it's too blurry, like steam on a shower door. It's looking at me. It's a girl. The eyes are hard to make out - the facial shape - I've seen this girl before... but I don't know who it is. The girl comforts me, I feel warmth around me and care, but I can not see her and I cannot touch her. I smile. I reach out my hand... but nothing. My muscles shift and my brain triggers the fall, in an instant I fall and I fall quick... And it wakes me up.

I just rolled over and went back to sleep... maybe next year I'll see who it is.

1030 am, and I'm on my 5th cup of coffee Wednesday morning. I was in bad shape. I told the girls to call me when they got up so they could come out here to have lunch. Of course, they got lost, so after a half dozen phone calls I got them to the building by 1:30.

After lunch, I provided them with some points of interest, then I headed back to work. They went to some fun touristy places, Main Street in Olde Town Scottsdale, as well as the Desert Ridge Marketplace in North Phoenix. I finished up my day at work and I told them to take their time - I needed a nap.

I got home, went right to sleep. I didn't eat or anything, just straight to bed. I slept for a good hour and a half, I hate naps during the day because my body is warmed up and I normally sweat like a pig. Upon waking up however, I noticed that the girls were not home yet... hmm, I better call them.

They were lost. Again. Going the wrong direction on the wrong road even. I shoulda bought a street map instead of hoping they would learn this stuff. So I guided them home and then I hopped in the shower. Got out, got dressed... "Who wants to go to Vegas?"

"I DOO!!" In unison, raising their hands... a couple of kids-at-heart.

8:35 - Off we left for Sin City
8:50 - Stopped to get gas
8:55 - Stopped cause I forgot to buy to food
9:15 - Off we left for Sin City, again.

I think the trip in the car was the closest Egle and I had gotten so far. Finally a chance to just talk to her, about whatever... about the past and her future... about politics and old friends... about bad drivers and the weather. Megan slept most of the trip, so we had some time to ourselves.

Around Kingman you cross the 100 mile line to Vegas, according to sources, that is where you can actually start seeing the glow from the city. They weren't lying... sure enough we turned in the final direction towards Vegas, and a slight glow came from the otherside of the mountains. It was at this point where my smile when from big to huge.

The girls got excited about EVERYTHING. They were impressed by so much and they were just awestruck from even the smallest of wonders. I loved it. There was so much to do and see in Vegas, I knew it would be easy to render them speechless. And how it was... They stared at the glow get brighter as I told them about the amazing view of the city all at once, when we go around a mountain. It's very impressive... at night it's amazing.

This was perfect. They were riled up from the Hoover dam and it wasn't even open, I couldn't wait to get to the top of the hill.

"Ok girls here it comes... get ready for it..."
They sat up to the edge of the chairs and stared expectantly out the windows. As the glow got brighter and brighter, my smile grew larger and larger, then... as we cressed the hill... the whole city of lights, Las Vegas. You can see the whole city from the road. Like they built the road going in this way completely on purpose. Vegas is different than other cities because it is such a drastic border. There's no slight build up of civilization before all of a sudden you're there... it's a line that is drawn and a massive city begins. It's all clumped up and the Strip stands tall to the left. Egle Snapped some photos as I held up traffic going 30 miles per hour. The girls could not believe their eyes. They screamed and went nuts, I was beaming. This was the very beginning to a weekend of wows and speechlesness. I looked over at Egle, who had turned to me... "Thanks honey," She said.

No Problem babe, my pleasure.

I had been to Vegas as a 21+ year old only once before, and that was really just a matter of weeks prior, with Adrian and Juan. So all the stuff to do and see were all still fresh in my mind. We parked, I peed, and they changed. We all got situated and relaxed a little and then locked up the car, time to hit the strip.

We took a chance on something different this time. Instead of getting a hotel the night we arrived, we thought it would be smart stuff to stay up all night, walk around and do stuff, get some drinks, and tour the area. That plan backfired... slightly. The first couple hours were great, we hit New York, New York, and then walked over to Paris. We hung out at Paris for a while, where I decided to bring out my first dollars of the trip. Egle wanted to play slots, which I told her never to do - but - we were having fun and not worrying about stuff so I let her. Table games are the life for me, though. I told her slots were a waste of money, which she found out quickly as she dumped 3 bucks into one. Since that was now out of her system, I decided to take them to the blackjack tables to show them how to win some real cash.

I have a new strategy, and it works great if you're with a woman in the casino. While your playing, have the woman stand behind you, but at your side, if she's not playing. Egle and Megan stood on either side of me and brought on a ton of extra convidence. I broke $40 into chips and began to play... Hand the girl chips as you play to "bank" them. You'll never go broke that way.

Let me tell you something. Find yourself an Egle to take with you to the casino. I knew it was Egle because Megan would leave occationally, and I still had good luck. $40 became $60 in 20 or so minutes, I walked. What a great start. Then, in trying to prove to Egle that slots were no fun, I play some with her... while she lost 5 more dollars... I won 10... she was mad! She stole my 10 dollars too I think. I think that was enough gambling for one night.

So we did some more walking. I think we walked the entire length of the strip at least 4 times... I was in pain.

To be continued...

Destination: My Home Town

Has anyone else out there had a moment in their life where time just stops? Nothing moving, not even yourself, not even your heart, your eyes, your brain... the people around you stop too, or disappear... the world slows, but the wind... the wind you can feel, or see even for the first time - you can see the wind blowing around you, the breeze caressing your frozen body as time is stopped and it feels so cool and clean. Then in an instant time starts back up again, and your heart jumps back into beat - shocking your chest as you blink again... but only because you have to. You open your mouth to let air in... not really breathing but just to naturally take some in, but only because you have to. At that very intstant then a chill shivers from your toes up your spine and bright flashes of light from your brain shine through as if they were really in front of you. The whole progression takes less than an instant. But you'll spend years running back through that moment again and again in your mind. You'll spend lifetimes trying to have that very moment over and over...

I can't say that it's happened to me. But I've heard it's great.

Last week I had three friends in town from Delaware. *My Girls* as I would introduce them, cause as much as they were there just for the fun spring break brings... I liked to think they were there just to visit me. Not the truth I know, but can ya blame a guy?

Egle, Amie and Megan were waiting patiently for me at the airport when I got there. They had gotten their bags and were sitting outside - as I walked up and down the bag claim area about 6 times looking for them. They looked... a little tired... but the greeting was just right, a lot of hugs and smiles. I met Megan for the first time, a Jersey girl (my birthplace) who's totally fun and outgoing. Off to the car... let the party begin.

Now, I still had to work... Saturday, a little Sunday, and then at my day job Monday, Tuesday and Wednesday. With the amount of energy gushing out of these girls it was gonna be tough to keep up. I didn't want to be a bummer - so I immediately got accustomed to the fact that I won't be getting much sleep. I couldn't get the days off I wanted - but I think that was fine, the girls wouldn't get tired of me and I could let them borrow the Civic and they can do their own thing. That's what I had planned at least.

It's Friday night, and I'm a guy with three girls by his side - who am I to not have just a LITTLE bit of an ego there? Obviously, we had to go out.

My boy Adrian calls me up - we're all on the list to PCL in downtown Scottsdale. PCL (pussycat lounge) is not a huge club, but a flashy one - gets filled up to the brim, everyone dances, and there's not even a dancefloor - or lights - to dance to. We got there at the perfect time - Not a lot of poeple so we could all get acquainted and get some drinks. I bought everone a round of Kettle One and Cranberry. I was feeling like I pimp I figured why the hell not! Soon the music started going - the place filled up and it was just right. One of the first times I didn't have a bad experience at PCL - I guess it really does matter who you go with...

Now, I hadn't had prior experience to Egle being drunk. In fact - I never used to think she drank unless she drunk dialed me - but even then I couldn't believe it. I have this sweet innocent Egle constantly in my mind, no matter how crazy she gets she still seems that way. Maybe that's why when Egle was shitfaced at the end of the night, kissing just about everyone, it was rather enjoyable... not a burden like she thinks it is. In fact - her shitfaced was one of the funniest parts of the trip!

But we made it. After an hour of stop-and-go Egle, we made the two mile trip to denny's. Friday night was over. I could breathe easier.

Saturday brought on an unfortunate turn of events, however.

I left about 1:00 for a MC event. About halfway there, I get a phone call from my Dad.... Amie's mother has passed.

Egle got the message right after I left. That was it. The trip was over... not even 24 hours went by.

I wanted to stop the car, or turn around and run back... I wanted to do... SOMETHING. Amie was HERE - not home in Delaware and I felt useless. My heart was broken.

I don't want to talk too much more about it. I was a wreck all Saturday, even my MC event sucked.

Amie went home but Egle and Megan stayed here. There was not much they could do back there anyway, plus the $200 they were asking for at the airport to change the ticket. After my event - I rushed home to see the girls. Megan was asleep... Egle was watching TV.

All we could do is curl up and watch movies. No words - not really talking about the day. My mother treated them to banana splits and sappy films... my mom the hero.

They were staying with me in my parent's house. My parents couldn't have been better hosts as they were always right there with something to offer to the girls. Whether it was a little dinner upon their arrival Friday night, to the spare rooms, or maybe the banana splits and manacures... I feel like I need to buy my mom some flowers or something. I made sure I said thanks - plenty of times. The girls loved the house, a 5 star hotel as they compared it to, I'm thinking it's more like a bed and breakfast. Friday was great, Saturday was unfortunate, so it was time to reset and start over on Sunday.

Egle was getting restless. I had to get the girls out, so since Friday was ritzy scottsdale, Sunday had to be Tempe - the college town.

Now I know what the girls are used to. Newark, DE is the location of the University of Delaware where they go to school. A college town as well, it has its main drag with bars and shoppes... Tempe is the same - just bigger. (And better, in my opinion...)

So we went out to play some pool. The Mill Cue Club is a great spot to drink and play, so that's just what we did. Juan met us out, we paired up and played. I noticed also, that Juan took a little liking to Megan, which was great. It made me feel *amazing* that my old friends got along well with my new ones. Adrian and Juan LOVED Egle and Megan.. Adrian being the "born a friend" that he is, Mr. Flirt, fighting with Egle in playful games, Juan just being himself... the party guy that everyone likes. Like a tight knit the 5 of us were all like old pals, reconciling for the first time in years.

After a few rounds (losses for me... I sucked that night) we head out of there and hit one more spot.

The big bang is another new favorite of mine, an underground dueling pianos bar with tons of spirit. It sits under a building containing three other bars and clubs: The Library, Hooters, and the Owl's Nest. The big bang is the most low-key for the bars, and as I said its full of fun and spirit.

Not a huge crowd, the front seats were still open and so we grabbed a table by the stage. At the Big Bang you have to participate - or you get called out. They play all the hits and if you don't know it they'll be happy to teach you - infront of everyone. The artists there are regular, talented guys and girls with tons of energy. It was a good time.

But - I had to work. I caught a lot of shit from Adrian about it, I made us leave about 12:30. Adrian... with his huge brain was like "just you right? you're leaving the girls with us right?" No Adrian, I plan on taking them with me cause they're kinda staying in my house. But it was a nice try. Adrian's my boy - can't blame a guy. Plus I was the one being the party pooper here...

The girls got some well-deserved R&R on Monday. They did practically nothing but lay outside in the AZ sun and hung out around the house. Perfect. They'll be nice and rested as I'll be in need of another nap. Since there's never much going on Monday nights, however - the best spot for that case would be my usual loner hangout, Jamaican Blue Coffee House. I love that place, plus I had to show Egle where I always go to talk to her online. So, we brought the laptops and met Adrian out there.

I had to show Adrian a few things on the computer, while the girls chilled out and had some wine. On a side note - wine seems to have an ineresting, yet enjoyable side effect to Egle... but I won't get into that too much... Anyway so once the computer lesson was over - we hit the Megatouch 2006 for a rousing game of Photo Hunt, which by the way to this day we still OWN the 1st, 2nd, 3rd, 5th, AND 7th spots. That took up like an additional hour of our night, photo hunt proves to be pretty addictive...

An early night, however - the girls wanted to get up and actually do something with the day. It was off to the outside world for them on Tuesday: The botanical gardens and the Phoenix Zoo... among other points of interest.

My phone just about blew up on Tuesday, each time they wanted to go somewhere. First it was the gardens, my directions were bad. Luckily, Adrian was there to save the day and met up with them once they finally got there. They toured south Scottsdale, the papago mountains, the zoo and gardens. I worked at the office. This is why Adrian is my boy though, he covered for me nicely. We got home around the same time - for a special treat - as a thanks for the hospitality Egle and Megan cooked for us. Lithuanian chicken and mashed potatoes. Egle knows the way straight to my heart... I love mashed potatoes. The dinner was a big hit. My parents were gracious.

As the last night in Phoenix drew near, I knew I had to end it on a high note. I remembered a place I hadn't been in quite some time, a brewery chain they call Rock Bottom. Microbrews and great food makes this unique spot a fun place for any age - but the Tuesday night karaoke was what I was looking for.

Not the same DJ it used to be - a different guy with less stuff, and no lights - but the effect was still there... we were only there for one reason only, to sing and be merry.

And wouldn't you know it? There was a competition that night - $50 gift certificate and a chance to win $500 the very next week. So me being the karaoke demon I am, you know that I had to jump in on that. I sang my standard favorites, the songs I know I can do well - I didn't want to be a slouch for the contest - and for the girls. Egle hasn't heard me sing since high school - so it was a chance to spread my wings a little bit and see if I still got it. Not sure if I do - I just got the standard "good job hun" most of the time. Adrian, however, has always been my biggest fan. That guy boosts my singing ego every time.

The night was coming to a close - I came in second in the karaoke contest, oh well... but soon the puppy dog eyes came out... the girls wanted me to take them to Denny's with the guys.

Who am I to say no? I was jet set out to spoil both of them anyway - of course I gave in. 4 hours of sleep for me I guess. It was fun though, no matter how tired I was... I love my friends...

But Phoenix was over - after work (and a nap) on Wednesday was our next destination: Las Vegas.

To be continued...

Before They Arrived

In the beginning of March, I realized that I had nothing done. My friends from the east coast were coming and I haven't cleaned, I haven't planned... and my car was acting up again! Now that March has come and gone, I don't really remember what happened before they arrived. The Neat Mix was released... which by the way I am very proud of, you can find that on my website. Haven't really produced cd's of it yet, I'm working on some graphics for CD and Case covers.

I guess I don't remember much because nothing really happened. I was spending most of my time working on the CD and playing video games! I spent an awful lot of time at Jamaican Blue - the famous Scottsdale coffee house that offers cheap coffee-flavored-coffee and free wireless internet... I know a lot of people called me to wonder where I was... sorry about that.

I was getting excited. Here's the rundown:

Back in High School, let's say about winter time, I'm walking down the hallway to visit my friend Stephanie and her crowd. Not really noticing, there was a second girl with her that I hadn't remembered seeing before, except for maybe in choir stuff... it was that day I was introduced to Egle.

Now let's jump forward a bit. At the end of my Senior year, after graduation, the summer, after all that... Egle and I were in different worlds. We both had our own friends, significant others, so on - flirting was all that ever happened between us. From the first year getting to know her, the trip to San Fransisco, or Washington D.C., or Hawaii; to her being my homecoming date and my senior prom date... Egle was always just... there... I never figured out why - but we never really dated. She was there at all the cast parties. She was there at my Eagle Scout court of honor... she was there but she was always just.. the sweet friend of mine.

Then I left.

We kept in touch a little after basic training, but once Serena came along I didn't talk to any of my old friends whatsoever. It wasn't until last year when Egle and I re-connected.

It's funny the people you end up with. Stephanie, who was/is friends with Egle, dated me for a little while my senior year. Stephanie LOVED me, but now Steph HATES me. Steph goes in with a handful of other girls that I apparently-but-accidentally broke their hearts. Stephanie and I were... not that much. Broke her heart? Hardly. I think she got over it by now. Egle is friends still with Stephanie and while I could care less about Steph - I couldn't care enough about Egle. I kick myself to this day for not realizing what Egle and I could have had back in High School - but maybe it just wasn't the right time for it...

So now, after all this time, we both have changed. Egle has opened up a little, not the sweet, shy, innocent girl she used to be. No, Egle has college under her belt - unlike myself - which has turned her into a fun, outgoing, party girl that just loves to spoil people with kindness. You can't help but like Egle. Don't know why that is, if I ever find a reason I'll let you know.

I've changed. I'm not the sweet pushover Justin I used to be. I bust balls, I'll give you shit, and I don't take shit. I'm still quick with my sense of humor and I know a joke when I hear it. I'm always a fan of laughter above war, love above hate. There are people on the "shit-list," that's where they will stay until they convince me otherwise.

So when the final confirmation of her coming to Arizona with two girlfriends... excited, nervous, and "holy shit..." all came across my mind...

I had shit to do. I cleaned the house, cleaned out my car, cleaned... ME.... I was in a frantic scurry for the week leading up to their arrival. After all this time, so many people I asked to come out to Phoenix... after all this time - only Egle decided to make the trip.

I was so nervous that I had to go to happy hour with a friend to calm me down some. I had a beer. It didn't really help. So many thoughts were going through my mind - what will she think of me? What will I think of her? I know we've talked a lot, but what if theres nothing to talk about? What if she hates Phoenix or something? What if she hates me?! I was freaking out...

6:28, the celly rings... They've arrived.