In The Pool

Sometimes I feel like I've never been really great at anything, that my life has been filled with mediocrety but I do nothing about it. Being happy medium isn't a bad thing, unless you're name is Justin Chapin, who has enormous dreams with no knowledge on how to catch them. I've been a dreamer all my life, always conjuring up massive thoughts in hopes that one day they will fall on my lap. In this world, they never will.

After sleeping just about all day, I decided to go outside and join my parents in their pool. They have a very nice pool and it seems to get significantly warm during the day. As I was wading around I began talking with my mom about my life and what I want to do with it. For some reason, this time I actually wanted to talk about it. We discussed things that I've done so far, how my DJing has been the first thing in the world that I've ever really pushed myself towards; we also talked about how I'm gonna make it to the top.

The problem is that I don't really know.

I've kicked around a few ideas, here and there - but nothing ever became serious to me. I've thought about broadcasting school, which would be really interesting to me, I think the radio is a place I would like to see myself for a while... but that wasn't where I wanted to end up. I thought that maybe just taking some classes locally here would be good for me, but again - not enoough.

The thought that has been crossing my mind a little bit more lately is actually taking the plunge, and going back to college. The thing is that, years from now when I look back on my life - I want to be able to say that I really put my whole heart and soul into something to earn the top, because these days I don't think it'll just flop in my lap.

So the decision is clear, this is what I need. I think that an education from a college of music will be just what I need to back up my abilities. My brother and I both have a great talent - not ego - I really feel I do. We have a talent for music. Music comes naturally to us, the rythms, the tones. It sits in our mind as simple as breathing it seems sometimes. I need to take this gift that I was given and apply it with knowledge, making me capable of almost anything. I'm serious when I say I want to make it to the top. It's not about the fame or fortune - I could care less about the money. What I care about is my love for music, grouped with my love for making other people happy.

That was where the talk left off. I'm going to college for music. I don't know where yet, I keep telling myself that here in Arizona is a great place for music education, which is true... but deep in mind I keep thinking - "what if I get outta here? How hard would that be?" For me to move away and live in dorms - I'd be an alien to the rest of the 'college age' students, but would that be all too bad? I don't think so... shit with enough money I could go anywhere, LA, New York, Chicago - the greatest cities for the performing arts. The worst they can say is 'no.' So what do I have to lose?

Nothing. This is going to be very interesting...

I have to apologize to anyone who may have been expecting to hear the Sunday Drunx Show - um - my brother Brian was sick and he wouldn't let me over his house... which happens to be where my live studio is. There's always next week!