A new DJ in Phoenix

I once read in one of my favorite books that I'm not a real DJ until my first paid gig. So, technically, I'm not a real DJ.

But, as it turns out - that is all about to change. I landed a job with a mobile DJ company. I still can't say who, because well, I haven't signed on with them or anything yet. So I'm keeping it on the DL until things get worked out. So here I am - just about to become a real DJ. I'm really excited about this. In addition to that, I'm currently taking a DJ class with the great DJ Rob Wegner, here in Scottsdale, AZ. Things are definitely going well for me.

It's been like a roller coaster. I assume I'm not alone in this one, I'm sure everybody has their ups and downs... "smiles and cries," as one might say. My downs were biggest last year, when I found myself confused about who my real friends were. I guess I'm always going to doubt myself and my friends, but this time it seemed as if I just wanted to shut everything out, move away, start the slate over. Obviously that was a bad idea, I did have a lot going for me, I just didn't realize it. The first problem was my job. At the beginning of last year I had a big fall. I got promoted in '03, a big step, but right away I realized that I was set up to fail. I was put in a situation that did set well at all, and well... I almost quit. Instead, I took a demotion back to my old position, thinking I was great before - I couldn't see why I couldn't be great again.

And I was... great... for a while. I got back in the swing of things and then I was great. But that's when crisis struck. During the summer, I just didn't have it. I was lost, I felt lost... and I had no motivation. I felt like nobody on the team even liked me, everyone was against me.

It got even worse, along with my work problems, I was having money problems as well. I guess the old saying is true, when it rains it pours... I was just plain broke. I had bills piling up and creditors calling and I couldn't do anything about it. Even farther down.

Then there was the girl. For protective reasons, we'll just call her Satan*. She was dating my roommate at the time and well that ended up in a pretty bad breakup. To tack that on, during this breakup my roommate began a drinking and screwing spree and Satan set her sights on me. Not cool. He was my roommate, as well as a great friend of mine. But she continued, much to my decline.

So then she decided to take a different approach, just being good friends. I was fine with this, because I felt a whole lot less pressured. It was about this time that I left for Korea with the military.

I had high hopes for Korea. I did my budget and calculated what I thought I might make, and it looked as if I was going to put away an extra $2K in extra money, which would catch me up on all my bills. So, everything was great! Well, that was until I got there. I had lost at the airport, just about EVERYTHING that meant anything to me. My journal mainly (which explains the start of this), along with 150 CD's, a CD player, 3 DVD's, a cell phone, and all my toiletries. NOT cool. That was almost $1000 of stuff. On top of that, Korea wasn't as cheap as everyone made it to seem, and I ended up spending about 1K there. Plus they sent me home early, which meant less money, my insurance company tacked on a second month on to one payment - oh, and by the way - the Army never paid me.

That's right, it took an additional two months for the army to get only half of my money. By then I had generated so much debt that I was actually considering bankruptcy.

That wasn't it, my friends. Satan was getting worse, and my old friends who have been around since the beginning were getting upset at me. I was ignoring them because I honestly believed things that Satan would say. She told me all my friends were against me becoming a DJ, and that she was the only one that liked my music, or cared at all. She made me feel as if my friends hated me, and it made me hate them back. This is just what Satan wanted. Satan wanted me to cast them away so she could have me for her own. She manipulated me into thinking she was my only friend, and I believed her. It got so bad that I began to despise most of my friends, my roommate at most. My roommate (who is no longer my roommate, so we'll name him 'battle') bought himself an AK-47 "for show," this really set me off. By the beginning of January I was moving out, and ready to cast away the world.

The past couple months Satan and I would get into fights, battle and I stopped talking, and I lost everything. I wasn't going to let this stop me. I wanted to be the best I could be. This was a new friggin' year and I wasn't going to let things slip away.

So I moved back in with my parents, and started school for DJing. I buckled down and got to work. I realized, well, not realized... I was TOLD by one of my closest friends that Satan was manipulating me - and suddenly it became all clear. Satan was causing it all. Satan was the reason my job went almost to the point of firing and the reason why I was always so depressed. My friends LOVE me, I love them! Why would they just cast me out like that? The answer is they wouldn't. I cast myself out, because of Satan. Well, last week I cast Satan away for good. I felt so liberated!! I felt as if I could be more confident, just plain happy... and I was. With that, I realized my job was better, and I'm all caught up. I'm paying back my bills, and landed a second job that could be the start of my new career!! A success-story? Hardly, but I had to share my feelings. Remember who your friends are, they're your friends for a reason.

Here's to great jobs, great friends, great lives. Satan, sorry hun, you will never compare to the friends that have been there.

*"Satan" is not a religious reference in any way.